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I took in a deep breath through my nose, grinding my teeth as I shoved down the familiar green of jealousy. We’d try to save as many as we could. He could focus on Chelsea, but I was going to save Edith. It was what it was. I could live with that…I hoped.

Matias took one hand off the steering wheel, grabbing mine. He dared to shoot me a quick glance. “It’s going to be okay, Mara. I promise.”

I tried to take comfort in the firm grip of his hand before he took it back, placing it on the wheel as he made another swift maneuver, sending me sliding back over to the right. I wanted to believe him, but there was a growing sense of doom brewing inside me. And as much as I wanted to trust him, I just couldn’t. I clasped my hands together in my lap, desperately trying to settle my angst.

It’s going to be okay, I lied to myself.We’re all going to be okay.

We barreled through the woods with Matias swerving from one side to the other. I knew we had been driving for hours, but time felt warped. And before I knew it, we were coming up to the camp. And based on the red glow coming through the trees, I knew what we were about to find wasn’t the best-case scenario I was deeply hoping for.

If I really thought about it, though, it wasn’t the red, ominous glow in front of us that tipped me off. Nor was it the smokey smell that drifted in through the vents of the car. In all truth, it wasn’t even the faint sounds my ears were struggling to register, the screams and sounds of gunfire. No, it wasn’t any of that.

What finally tipped me off that what lay ahead of me was nothing good was the return of that swirling sensation of doom in the pit of my stomach. It was the quickening of my heart and the squeezing of my lungs as the smoky scent infected them with charred air. And it was the dread that swept over me, filling every nook and cranny of my being, that made me finally accept what I knew to be true all along. What lay ahead wasn’t the best-case scenario at all. It was the worst. And it was in that instant that I knew Wes was right.

Shit was about to get real ugly.

52: Knife in a Gunfight

Thescenebeforemyeyes was like seeing hell on earth. The fire that raged, burning trees and tents to nothing but ash, rose into the sky at the height of twenty-five and thirty feet. The bright reds, yellows, and oranges gave an ominous glow against the blackened sky. The carnage was even worse to bear witness to. The bodies of so many Dissenters littered the ground, twisted into repulsive shapes, bending in unnatural ways. And the blood…there was so much blood. I felt my stomach retch and twist into an awful knot as I thought that the Devil himself had come to end the rebellion because I was convinced we had just driven into the pit of hell.

We didn’t waste time. There was still an active attack going. Rebels and Telvian soldiers alike were battling to the death, firing guns, swinging any object that could be used as a weapon, or just fighting fist-to-fist. Matias slammed on the brakes. And as he did, the ground rumbled and quaked as an earsplitting sound boomed through the night, causing the windows to blow out of the car.

“Shit!” I couldn’t be sure who said it, or maybe we all did. The night brightened as a bigger, black plume of smoke rose into the air.

A bomb.

A bomb had just gone off.

“This is bad, Matias.” Wes scrambled out of the backseat.

“We’ve got to find Sasha,” he shot back as he opened his door and got out. I followed suit.

Out of the car, I looked around, a fresh wave of fear and dismay gripping my heart. And with a deep sense of certainty, I felt the awful truth dig itself into my soul, deep in my core.

We weren’t going to make it out of this alive.

Wes pulled out his assault rifle, readying himself for the inevitable battle for his life. “They probably evacuated her to the training center. That’s our best bet of finding her.”

Matias nodded and walked to the back of the car, popping open the trunk. “Mara, take this.” He pulled out a black duffel, and from within it, he pulled out a 9mm pistol. Wes joined him, rummaging quickly as the ground shook beneath our feet, nearly causing me to fall. Another bomb.

Damn it!This was so bad.

I took the weapon in my hand, scared and nervous to be holding it. I had little training with firearms. The Dissenters normally used stunners, not lethal weapons. But today, today was going to be an exception.

Matias called my name, gaining my attention while grabbing the gun again. “The safety’s off, okay? Remember, cock it back to load it. Aim and then pull the trigger when you’re ready.” I nodded, gulping down the knot forming in my throat. He handed the gun back, already loaded, and then produced a black rectangular block. “This is an extra magazine. When you run out, push that button, and the old mag drops out, remember? Stick this one in, cock it back again, and you’re ready.”

I took in a huge breath, grabbing the rectangular block and shoving it into my pocket. This was bad. I wasn’t ready for this. Every part of me was screaming for me to run, to hightail it into the woods once more. But I planted my feet, trying to breathe evenly as best as I could. Matias must have sensed my unease, because he took my face into his hands then, bringing his forehead down to mine, our noses touching ever so slightly. And in that moment, it was like everything else faded away and there was only us. No death or carnage, no Dissenters or Telvians.

Just us.

“You can do this. I know you can.” I tried to nod, but his hands held me in place. “Mara, listen to me.Wecan do this. We’re going to make it out of here, okay? But you need to promise me that, no matter what happens, you’ll get to the training center. Got it? No matterwhathappens…you get there and you stay alive.”

“But what about—”

“No. I said, no matter what happens. You get there and you stay alive.” His eyes closed then, and the grip he had on me, the pressure of his face against mine, intensified. “I already thought I lost you once. I won’t lose you again. So no matter what happens, stay alive.”

I swallowed hard, my eyes glistening with fresh tears. And then I heard it…the words that I’d been dancing around for weeks, too afraid to admit them. I heard his voice, gentle but desperate. “I love you, Mara. I love you. And I want the chance to see what that’s going to be all about. So let’s do this, okay?” His lips were on mine then, deep and passionate. Desperation skirted the edge, a fear I knew we both shared. The fear that this was it. He pulled away, and I felt my heart squeeze with longing. He took a shaky breath, and with an air of resignation, announced, “Let’s do this.”

As if the universe didn’t want to disappoint, the earth quaked beneath us so fiercely I was thrown off balance and ended up on my back. The searing pain of dirt grinding into my raw flesh sent a yelp out of me as I squeezed my eyes shut in pain.