Page 20

She will be.
God this is a mess.
Maybe I should speak to a shrink, but I know what they’ll say.You should start dating. It’s normal to move on when you’re ready. Tina wouldn’t expect you to stay alone forever...blah, blah, blah.
No, she wouldn’t.
As I wouldn’t want her to if our situation were reversed, but it’s not just about me or her. It’s the kids I think I’m most concerned about. Seeing me replace their mother...it’s not right.
Something snaps me out of my thoughts, and I finish up and return to the bedroom.
Penelope is wriggling, tucking her hands under the pillow. She blinks at me when I climb back into bed.
A ping in my heart surprises me.
She’s so beautiful, lying here sated from the way I pleasured her body. The way we seem to fit and move together with more ease than twoalmoststrangers should.
Not that I’m an expert.
“Hey.” I tug her hip closer, and her tummy presses into my cock. Penelope places a hand on my chest. “Need anything. Glass of water?”
“Sleep.” She smiles, and her eyes gently close once more.
So trusting.
I decide to do the same and work things out in the morning. I drift off to sleep, forgetting everything except the warmth of her body against mine.
WHEN I WAKE THE NEXTtime, I open my eyes and find Penelope lying there staring at me. She looks beautiful despite her dark hair being a fuzzy mess and her mascara smudging under her eyes.
“Morning,” I say and roll onto my back, rubbing a hand through my hair.
I have all of it still, thank goodness. My boys have my genes too—all of them with thick dark hair.
I suddenly wonder why Penelope has never had kids, and if she wants them. She may be in her early forties, but it’s still possible.
Something about that makes me uncomfortable.
I can’t quite put my finger on it, but when I turn back to face her, I can see that her own mind is whirling.
“Morning.” She smiles and glances past me. The drapes are drawn, but the sunlight is sneaking through the gaps.
“Coffee?” I ask, starting to move.
“Ward.” Penelope puts a hand on my arm and I still. Then let out a sigh and roll over facing her.
“I’m not sorry.” I assure her. “Not the first time, and not last night. You are a beautiful, sexy woman, Penelope.”
She nods, swallowing, but her eyes cloud over.
“And that’s all.” It’s not a question, but we both know it is.
I nod.
“Just sex. Nothing more,” she clarifies.
Fuck.
“I...” I try to choose my words carefully but I’m hungover, sleep deprived, and not sure if my dick is still in charge. It hardened the moment I opened my eyes and took in the swell of her breasts. “I lost my wife a few years ago.”