Page 18

Revenge, the thing I pursued for so long with his head on a spike, felt like sand breaking away in my hands. Hunting him down and killing him was not something I sought anymore. I wanted space, distance, a sea between us. I needed to get back to my life of piracy, leaving him far behind in my wake.

The guys set up camp and got a fire going, eating some instant noodles and bundling AB in extra clothes as the air was getting slightly chillier the deeper we went.

Cooper had been able to run back, sniff out where they left their belongings and retrieve them—three mats, some food, water, and alcohol.

“Sooooo… are we gonna talk about the elephant in the room?” Cooper drank from a bottle of Baijiu, passing it to Croygen. The flames crackled, reflecting off the walls. AB was already asleep on one of the mats, Sprig curled up with her. “Amara.” He said her name like it was a condition. “The bitch is back.”

“Yeah.” Croygen chugged down a huge portion. “Fuck, I’m an idiot. I should’ve seen this coming. I mean, I know her so well. What she does.” He rubbed his head. “I don’t know, maybe I did, just didn’t want to think about the possibility.”

Because he was scared he would fall for her again?

A worm of jealousy wriggled up my spine, making me grit my teeth at his claim ofknowing her. Yeah, I bet he did. The years he spent with her, oblivious to me, while all I did was think about him. I had turned away from a man who actually loved me because I was so obsessed with Croygen. Even when I fucked other men, I thought of him, wanting to challenge him in every way. Like he would sense me riding someone, feel it in his gut like a stab, know I was coming for him.

In reality, he was living life without one thought for me. Not one time did he try to find me, see if I was okay, come rescue me from hell. He took my home and my friends, murdered my father, and left me to rot while he fucked Psychotic Barbie, drinking and pirating around the globe.

His arm went out, the white spirits bobbing in my face as he offered me the bottle. I glared at his arm at the intrusion into my space, feeling my stomach flutter, getting even madder at my reaction to him. How my body hadalwaysreacted to him, even when I was too young to really understand.

Croygen and I had become too friendly, and that wasn’t even factoring in the sex. The unbelievable, light-the-world-on-fire-and-burn-it-to-the-ground kind of sex. This was something even more than that. A familiarity that took over every molecule of my body. The knowing where he was without looking, feeling him constantly around me, seeing him in my dreams which were so real it felt like he was actually there.

But he couldn’t be. I wouldn’t accept it because it meant something I would never allow myself.Especiallywith him.

My father spoke every once in a while about my mother. It hurt him too much because she had been his mate. And when she died, he threw everything into raising me. His love, his reason for getting up in the morning.

“She was my world,Katze, my light. My heart stopped the day she died,” he would say. “But for you, she gave me her magic to keep it beating for you. To know you were loved so deeply. I am here until you no longer need me,Schatz.”Treasure.

He wasn’t even full fae, and he struggled to keep going after he lost her, his heart so broken it was me he lived for. He got us on a pirate ship, keeping me fed, happy, and healthy. But he never stopped loving her, talking to her, mourning her, waiting for the day they’d be reunited.

I didn’t deserve to feel that kind of love. What I had done in my life, how many I had killed, all I had sacrificed on the altar of piracy. I gave my devotion to the sea and the sea only. I would never have more than a lover. And certainlynevera mate.

“Hey?” Croygen wiggled the bottle at me, encouraging me to take it. “Drink?”

Jaw locked in ire, I moved away and leaned against the wall, tucking my arms into my chest. I didn’t care how childish my response was.

His gaze rolled over me, and once again I felt like something was tapping at my skin, trying to peel back the layers to see beyond the thick barrier. My teeth ground together, shoving against the sensation stabbing me like daggers.

He pulled his arm back, his lids narrowed as if he had felt my rebuff, a strange emotion flicking in his eyes. Then it was gone faster than it came. He turned his back on me, taking another swig, his attention going back to Cooper.

“Amara will be back. We can’t let our guard down.”

“But all her men are gone or dead.” The Dark Dweller’s gaze still hopped between us, no doubt sensing the animosity.

“Doesn’t matter. She will find a way. Whatever it takes. The one thing about her, good or bad, is that she won’t give up. Not until she gets what she wants.”

“Is thatyouor the nectar?” Did my voice really sound that bitchy? I cleared my throat, forcing my vocals to relax, my face vacant of anything.

Croygen’s dark eyes met mine, his tongue sliding on his lips as if he caught my possessiveness in his mouth and savored its bitter taste.

“Money. Power. In whatever means she has to get it.” He smirked, his gaze almost challenging mine. Not denying she would go after him, and certainly not denying he’d like it.

“Well, just another to add to our list.Everyoneis an enemy down here,” I said poignantly back. We might pretend to be on the same side now, but once that nectar was found, it was everyone for themselves.

My vow and crew would be pitting me against Croygen and Cooper. They needed it for AB. I understood that and could sympathize, but it didn’t take away what I had to do. I didn’t have a choice.

“Don’t underestimate her. Amara is a survivor. She is ruthless, cunning, and has no scruples.”

“So you two really are alike,” I countered.

Croygen watched me for a bit, though I wouldn’t let myself try to figure out his look, guarding myself. Finally, his lip curled in a smirk. “Think it’s time we get some rest. I’ll take the first watch.” Croygen stood up, motioning to the bedroll. “Go ahead. Youobviouslyneed to sleep.” He winked, strolling past me, taunting me.