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CHAPTER TEN
The barren apartment was small. It took him only a few strides to have her in his bed. His clothes were off, a condom was in hand, and they were under the covers in a heated tangle of arms and legs. His lips were on her neck, her nails scratching down his back.
There was something good about having her there, even if he didn’t plan to use the place for long.
“I want to know.” She bit his earlobe. “Tell me what your demon is.”
The words pulled everything to a standstill. Rigid in her arms, he’d forgotten his demons for a few minutes, and that was the point of this. “Not how this game works.”
“I want to take care of you.”
He pulled back. “Why?”
“You deserve it.”
“Ha. Bullshit.” He went back to her neck, but she took his face in her hands. Trace said, “Seriously, Marlena, let’s get back to what we do well.”
Her face fell for a flash, but determination lit her face. “Tell me something.”
Ah, man. This wasn’t where he wanted to go. It was too dark, too angry.Fuck the world. Except when he had her in his arms.
“Trace?”
Fine. She could know why he felt like a caged animal. “I’m a piece of shit who let down his brother. Let down my SEAL team.”
She shook her head. “I don’t believe you.”
“Believe it. I’m angry because I’m grounded. I can’t go overseas until Delta gets the green light to go back to ghost operations.”
“I don’t understand.”
“There’s not much to it. I don’t exist. I don’t live in one place or do one thing. When we’re not doing jobs that no one will admit to, I’ve got my own personal mission in life. So there it is.”Fuck, man. His heart racing, he couldn’t breathe. “And the only thing that has kept me from losing my shit is you. In bed.”
She bit her lip, looking away. When her gaze came back, the intensity made his chest swell.
“Have me until you forget whatever you need to forget.”
Shit, that wasn’t the only reason. “No, it’s not—”
“Trace—”
“No. Just…” He needed to get out of the bed and out of this house. Why the hell did he think he could do this? He didn’t deserve her, and he needed to kill. Maim. Rip the world apart until he felt normal again.
She grabbed his elbow and hung on.
“Marlena.” Goddamn, she needed to let go. “Mar. Enough.”
“You need to. You have to. You’re going insane. I see it.”
“So the hell what?” he roared.
She needed to back off, but he looked at her, and she hadn’t flinched. Blood rushed in his veins. Energy, anxiety, and anticipation were making him stupid. He couldn’t handle this. It was too much, and he didn’t know why he thought any of this… except he wanted to hold her. Kiss her. Fuck her until exhausted and smell sugar all over himself.
“Trace.” Her voice was quiet but not little. It was confident and coaxing. “If that’s what you need… You and me, in this bed, until you feel better.”
“Why?” His chest was tight, his head shaking.
“If you won’t share why, at least let me help you this way.”