Page 42 of Defensive Desire

Ryder throws his towel at Blake’s retreating back. “I said yes, you assholes. Now drop it.”

I laugh as they all disappear into the showers, and I type out a quick reply to Emma before I do the same.

"Practice sucked. Missing my sweater. And maybe you, too."

I hit send before I can second guess it, shoving the phone back into my locker. My pulse is still a little faster than normal, and I’m not sure if it’s from practice or the way Emma’s texts make my head feel lighter.

I take a cold shower to clear my mind and get changed into fresh workout clothes. Connor claps me on the shoulder before heading off toward the gym for our next session.

I think about Emma again, and it hits me. Am I really thinking about more than hockey for the first time in... years?

The idea is terrifying.

But at the same time, it feels… right.

A slap of a towel against my shoulder brings me back to reality, and I realize Blake’s still there, one eyebrow raised.

“You coming to the gym, Kane?”

I hesitate. Normally, I’d jump at the chance to burn off some steam, but right now... I just want to get out of here.

“Yeah. Just need a minute,” I mumble.

Blake nods, like he’s got it all figured out, and heads off.

My phone vibrates again, and I pull it out to see another text from Emma.

"Don’t hate me, but I baked muffins again. I swear they’re not burnt this time."

A smirk tugs at my lips.

"I’ll be the judge of that,"I text back.

I can’t help it. My mood lifts, and for the first time today, the tension in my chest loosens just a bit.

I push myself to my feet, stretching out the stiffness in my shoulders.

Yeah. I’ll hit the gym.

Maybe throw some weights around, clear my head. That should do the trick.

***

The players’ lounge is packed at the end of another grueling pre-season day.

The room is heavy with the scent of freshly brewed coffee, and the spread laid out on the long, scarred wooden table.

An assortment of Gatorades in every color lines one end, while the other is piled high with protein bars, fresh fruit, and a platter of grilled chicken wraps drizzled with spicy aioli.

I settle into a spot near the back, grabbing an orange sports drinks and keeping my head low, my shoulders hunched.

After a long day of practice, I just want to get in, hear what Big Mike and Sophia have to say, and get out.

Then,finally,I'll be able to head to Emma’s.

Just thinking about her makes the knot in my chest loosen a bit. Her text from earlier still has me smiling like an idiot, but I can’t help it. It’s been a long time since someone made me feel like this.

“Alright, listen up!” Sophia calls from the front, tapping her tablet to bring up a screen on the wall. Big Mike stands next to her, looking at all of us with hearts for eyes. Now that's a man who lives for hockey.