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“Get off me!” She pushes at my chest and I roll to the side, trying to figure out what’s going on.

“Honey, can you please?—”

She’s not listening.

In fact, she’s in full-on panic mode.

The moment she’s free of me she practically leaps off the bed and runs to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her.

Leaving me staring in confusion.

What the hell just happened?

Twenty-Two

Willow

My head is a mess—memories swirling, their barbed edges slicing at me, panic gripping so tightly that my vision goes splotchy and I find that my legs can’t hold me up.

I sink to the floor, but don’t have the strength to slow my descent, my knees cracking hard against the tile.

Hard enough that Hudson’s concerned voice cuts through the closed door.

“Princess!”

The handle rattles, but apparently in my panic I locked it behind me.

And I don’t have the strength to get up and unlock it.

Nor do I want to.

Because the memories are swirling and panic is stealing my breath, making me light-headed and my vision narrow to tiny points of light.

Because…shame is washing over me.

I messed up. Again.

Only this wasn’t a flinch.

This was me ruining a beautiful moment between us.

My eyes burn, and I wrap an arm around my aching knees, settling my forehead on top of them.

Why am I like this?

Why do I always ruin everything?

“Willow,” Hudson says through the closed door. “Baby, please talk to me.”

And say what? That I’m weak and pathetic and stupid and?—

No!

I don’t even know where that thought comes from.

But it’s sharp enough to snap me out of my panic, out of the self-loathing.

I’m not that woman anymore.