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“Youtalked,” he said. “You didn’t let me talk.”
“Because I knew exactly what you were going to say,” she said, a rumble of anger in her words. “I’m humiliated enough without you spelling things out for me.”
“Why are you humiliated?” he asked, his eyebrows pulling together.
“Because I asked you on a date. And you stood me up. Clearly, we want different things.”
“Me standing you up only reflects badly on me. Not you.”
“It doesn’t even matter.” She rested her head against the wing of the chair. “Let’s just forget it.”
“Not until I explain.”
“You don’t need to explain,” she snapped. “I don’t want to hear your excuses about going back to London in a few months. I’m sure you have a big clichéd speech about how it’s nothing personal, but I’d rather just brush all of this under the rug and forget about it.”
Flynn stared at her while his chest felt as though it was being squeezed in a vice. “I’m leaving in seven weeks,” he said quietly.
Her throat bobbed and when she spoke her voice came out as a raspy squeak. “What?”
“Seven weeks,” he repeated. “And you were right when you said I’m a coward.” Catching her eye, he held her gaze. “I’m already terrified of not seeing you every day, and that’s when we’re just friends.”
“Seven weeks?” she whispered.
He nodded. “I didn’t cancel our date because I don’t want to be with you. I did it because the sergeant had checked whether there was a possibility of me keeping my job here for longer. But I can’t. Which means in seven weeks I have to leave and go back to London.”
A tear slipped from the corner of Lily’s eye and it crushed him.
“I don’t want to leave you,” he went on. “But at the moment, I can’t see a way around it.”
A muscle in her jaw twitched. “I can’t imagine you not being here. You were one of the first people I met here, and it feels like you’re part of the place.”
He smiled sadly. “The sergeant is still trying to make my position here permanent, but it really doesn’t look promising.”
Lily covered her face with her hands. “Seven weeks is nothing.”
“I know,” he said softly while his insides felt as though they were being squeezed. “Please don’t ever think I cancelled our date because I didn’t want to go out with you. I’m scared that if something happens between us, I won’t be able to bring myself to leave when the time comes.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “But I can’t be a police officer here and if I’m not a police officer…”
“You don’t know who you are?”
He nodded. “It’s the one thing I’m proud of. I don’t know if I’d even like myself if I wasn’t a police officer. I suspect you wouldn’t like me that much either.”
She blew out a breath and brushed away her tears. “I think I understand that. As weird as it is, my identity feels tied to the ice cream shop. I couldn’t leave it.”
“I’d never ask you to. I see how you thrive here. It’s like it’s where you’re meant to be.”
“So what do we do?”
“I thought about a long-distance relationship… but I’m not sure how realistic it is. My job is full on and I’m not sure how it would work long term.”
“I don’t think I’m cut out for a long-distance relationship,” she murmured.
“Leaving seems really surreal.” He paused and massaged the tension at the back of his neck. “I keep thinking something willchange and I’ll be able to stay… If the situation were different…” He trailed off. “I really want us to stay friends, if you think that’s possible?”
She inhaled deeply, then her lips twitched in a hint of amusement. “You’re asking if I think I can contain myself around you?”
“It’s notyouI’m worried about,” he said frankly. “Every time I look at you I want to kiss you. And every time I hang out here with you I have to force myself to leave at the end of the evening.”
“Don’t say nice things to me. It’s not helpful.”