Page 94

"I don't want to forget, Jimmy."

He looked sad, disappointed.

"Do you want me to forget? Do you want to forget me?" Perhaps he did; perhaps it was the only way he could start new, I thought mournfully.

"I don't want you to feel dirty about it or ever let anyone make you feel that way," he said firmly.

I nodded and sat beside him on the bed. Neither of us said anything for a few moments. This old section of the hotel creaked and moaned as the sea breeze poked and prodded, slipping itself into every crack and cranny, and we could hear music from the jukebox in the recreation room spilling out into the night and being carried off by the same sea breezes.

"I'll tell the relatives that Momma and Daddy are both dead. They don't have to know all the ugly details, and try to start a new life," Jimmy said with a far-off look in his eyes.

"I hate thinking about you being in a new life without me, Jimmy."

He smiled the soft and gentle smile I recalled so fondly.

"Let's just lie here together one more time like we used to be together," he said. "And you talk me to sleep like you always did by telling me about all the good things we're going to have someday." He shifted over to make room for me.

I lowered myself beside him, resting my head against his arm and closed my eyes. For a moment I threw myself back through time, and we were lying together on one of our poor pull-out beds in one of our run-down apartments. Rain pounded the dilapidated building, and the wind scratched at the windows, threatening to poke them in.

But Jimmy and I cuddled together, taking solace in the warmth and closeness of our bodies. We closed our eyes, and I began to spin the rainbows. I did it now.

"We will have good things happen to us, Jimmy. We've been through a storm of trouble, but after every story, the clouds part and the sun returns with its warmth and its promise.

"You'll go off and find Momma's relatives like you planned, and they'll welcome you with open arms. You'll meet uncles and aunts and cousins.

"And maybe they're not as bad off as we always thought. Maybe they got a good farm. And you're a strong, willing worker, Jimmy, so you'll be a great help to them. Before you know it, the farm will become something special, and people from all around will ask: Who's that new young man who came to help and made your farm so good?

"But you'll have to promise to write to me and . . ."

I turned to him. His eyes were closed, and he was breathing softly. How tired he had been. He must have walked miles and miles and been in the rain for the longest time, suffering just to get down here to see me one more time.

I leaned over and pressed my lips to his warm cheek.

"Good night, Jimmy," I whispered as I had done so many nights before. I hated to leave him all alone in so strange a place, but from what he had described to me, he had been in more horrible places.

I paused in the doorway and looked back. It did seem more like a dream to see Jimmy lying there. It was almost like a wish come true. I slipped out of the hideaway and up the stairs, checking carefully to be sure to one was looking my way. It looked all clear so I made my way around the building. Just as I entered and started down the corridor, I saw the door to my room open, and Clara Sue stepped out.

"What are you doing in there?" I demanded, approaching quickly.

She looked flustered for a moment and then smiled. "Grandmother sent me to unlock your door," she said. "Who did it?"

"I don't know," I said quickly. She smirked.

"If I find out and tell Grandmother, she'll fire her."

"I don't know who did it," I repeated. "I shouldn't have been locked in there anyway."

She shrugged.

"If you weren't such a brat, Grandmother wouldn't have to do these things," she said and hurried off. I thought she was in quite a rush to get away from me. After I watched her go, I went into my room.

I got undressed, put on my robe, and went to the bathroom. I really was very tired and looked forward to crawling under the covers. But when I returned and pulled back my blanket to slip in and under, I discovered what Clara Sue had been doing in my room. It was as if I had been made to swallow a glassful of ice water. It sent a painful shiver through my heart.

There on my sheet was a gold necklace with rubies and diamonds. Clara Sue had taken it out of Mrs. Clairmont's room and placed it here so I would be blamed. Now what would I do? If I returned it, everyone was sure to think I had stolen it originally and my grandmother had frightened me into returning it. No one would believe Clara Sue had done this, I thought.

The sound of footsteps drove me into a panic. What if she had gone and told Mr. Hornbeck she had seen me with the necklace and was returning with my grandmother? I looked about frantically for a place to hide it and realized that this was just what Clara Sue would want me to do. They would search again and find it hidden and be convinced I had stolen it.

I froze, unable to decide on anything. Fortunately, the sound of the footsteps died away. I let out my breath and scooped up the necklace. It felt hot and forbidding in my hands. I had the urge to open the window and heave it out into the night, but then, what would happen if someone found it the next morning near my window?