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"But it's all right. I know you weren't yourself. You didn't hurt me. You didn't even break the skin."

A memory was coming to him now, still slightly blurry but more discernible. Of Aly's face below him, flushed and breathless, not filled with fear but with an undeniable urgency.

"What happened after?" he growled, ignoring the sudden fire in his lower belly.

"Nothing. Something frightened you. There was a sound like thunder then you had me over your shoulder and running. We hid until Xilya found us."

"You swear that is all?"

"Yes!"

He closed his eyes again, rubbing them. To think he actually believed he could keep from harming her while under his Drega. To think what would have happened if something hadn't come and frightened him, hadn't stopped him.

And he could imagine. An ache grew in him as did his anger.

"Ryziel, I..."

"I want you to stay above," he said. "For now. I need you to stay away from me."

"No."

Shocked by her sudden refusal to obey, he finally looked back at her. "Yes."

"I don't want to."

"I don't care what you want."

She frowned. "I wasn't afraid, do you hear me? Sure, you could have attacked me or something, but you didn't. Ryziel..." She gazed into the darkness then looked back at him, her eyes bright. "Please, don't turn me away again."

They stared at each other until Ryziel heard the elevator door open behind him. "I don't have a choice," he said.

"Yes, you do. You just don't want to face what you’re feeling."

"Oh? And what is that?"

Aly's face reddened but she didn't hesitate. "You ached to touch me back down there," she said softly. "When I touched you, I could see you wanted me too."

Ryziel clenched and unclenched his fists. "I wasn't myself. You said so yourself."

Aly crossed her arms. "Maybe you were more yourself than you know."

"You don't know what you’re talking about."

"Then explain."

Ryziel turned his head away, his jaw clenched tight. "All nillium have a darkness in them. A beast they call their Drega." He looked back at her. "It is our primal half. Most control it with ease. Especially those with a meek nature. Only when greatly angered to violence or some other powerful emotion might one’s Drega appear. When it does, for some, it is only a stirring, for others an all-consuming flame. Everyone is different."

"And you?" Aly asked.

"It is always there. It just slumbers."

Aly nodded. "I see. And you think it is separate from you?"

He had thought so. "Yes," he said uncertainly.

"Even though you saved me and protected me while supposedly under its sway?"

Ryziel didn't know what to say. She couldn't understand.