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“That’s Twyler and Reese.” She nods to the couple over her shoulder. Then she smirks. “You’ve obviously met Reid.”

Reid. When he’d opened the door I’d been so nervous about seeing my brother that I’d barely taken him in. I’m used to big, Texas-sized guys, so that hadn’t intimidated me, but the casual way he leaned in the doorway, the hard curve of his exposed biceps and strong forearms took me off guard. His hair isn’t arranged in that intentionally messy way, like my brother’s. It’s pushed back from his forehead, but short on the sides; styled. His eyes are a warm, kind, brown, and his lips a dark pink. I’m going to blame the force of all of that for my temporary insanity.

“Babe,” Axel says, cutting his eyes at his girl. His voice is low with warning, but it’s not carrying much weight. She confirms this by turning back to him and kissing him on the cheek.

“We’ll give you two some space,” she tells him.

“Come on, Reid,” Twyler says, waving him over, “I’ll check out your face and make sure Ax didn’t do any real damage.”

Axel doesn’t look the slightest bit ashamed for Reid’s puffy lip, and calls out, “We’re not finished,” to his friend. Reid just nods, following the others up the stairs without another word. I watch him go, eyeing the hard muscles that make up his back.

I can still feel the heat of his chest on my fingertips.

Taste his tongue on mine.

“Sit,” Axel says, breaking me from the memory. I lower into the armchair, not wanting to revisit the scene of my impulsivity. Axel sits there instead, flipping open the box and picking up a piece of cold pizza with his tattooed hand. “You know I’m already on the Rev’s shit list,” he starts, meaning our father, “so if you have something to say, do it, because you know I have to call Mom.”

“Don’t,” I say, panic licking up my spine, “please.”

My tone must sound more pleading than I realize because his expression shifts from annoyance to concern. “Did something happen at home?”

“It’s hard to explain.”

If anyone can understand what I’m going through it’s Axel. He grew up in the same home–knowing what it was like to live by our father’s standards, under the constant scrutiny of being a preacher’s kid at a megachurch the size of Kingdom. Even so, things were different for him. He was allowed to pursue outside interests like hockey and go three thousand miles away to college. He’s covered in tattoos, always dated freely, and barely cooperated with the family rules. I had none of that leeway. Whydid our father allow him to do these things when I couldn’t? I only have one guess: because he was a boy.

My father regrets it now, having issued an ultimatum to his oldest and losing.

When I heard that Axel pushed back and took a stand against our father, I’d never been more proud, but I was also sad.

“You traveled two thousand miles and showed up on my doorstep, Shel,” he says, “I think you can explain to me why you’re here.”

“You know I got promised to David at Thanksgiving.” I ignore his frown of disapproval at the pre-engagement, and continue, pushing through in a rush, “Well, last night the parents got together to plan the engagement party and start organizing the wedding. Mom told Mrs. Jones I’d be wearing her wedding dress, and they’d already picked out the location, flowers and tents, and it just felt like they were planningtheirwedding, not mine. Then when I went to talk to David, I saw Dad revealing blueprints to the home he’s having built for us.” Hot tears prick my eyes as I admit the truth. “No one asked my opinion on anything, Ax. It’s like I’m not even there.”

I touch the ring on my finger not telling him that Dad picked this out too. Yes, I’m still wearing it. Ipromised,but it lacks the same luster.

The muscle in the back of Axel’s jaw tics, but he doesn’t look the slightest bit surprised. “That sucks. Hard. But it’s not exactly unexpected. They’ve always been controlling and you’ve never had a problem with it before. In fact, you’ve always been pretty agreeable.”

“I know.” Again a wave of uncertainty hits me. Did I do the wrong thing by coming here? Should I have stayed? “I’m having a hard time sleeping–sometimes breathing. It feels like the walls are closing in, you know?”

He snorts, but his hand moves absently to his chest like he feels the pressure. “Oh yeah, I know.” He studies me. “You never ran away before. That’s what this is, right? A runaway.”

“I’m twenty, Axel, too old to run away.”

But we both know that’s exactly what I did. I packed a bag, called an Uber, and used the money I’d saved over the years to get on the first flight to the only person I knew to go to. The only person that had ever rebelled against my parents.

“Did you break things off with David?” he asks, a little too hopefully.

“No.” I twist the ring.

He sighs. “I’m assuming they don’t know where you are?”

“I left a note for Mom, letting her know that I was going somewhere safe, and I just needed some time to sort things out.”

“Well, they’d never consider coming to me as being ‘safe’ so that’s probably why they haven’t called looking for you.” His hands thrust into his hair. “Fuck, Shel, this is going to blow up.”

“I know.” Disobeying my father is one thing, but messing up this engagement, which will reflect back on him and his church? Unforgivable. “I think I just need a minute–away from the house and all the rules and expectations. Some time to get my head on straight, so I can be the wife David deserves.”

“And you figured you’d prove that by sitting in my roommate's lap?”