Page 55 of Dangerous Intent
The words caught in my throat. I wasn’t ready to say them, but the thought of her believing otherwise twisted something deep inside me.
“I want to have babies with you,” I said finally, the truth leaving me exposed. “Lots of them.”
“You do?” Her gasp was soft, but it echoed louder than any gunshot.
“Are you kidding?” I placed my hand on her stomach. “I can’t wait to fill this belly with my heirs. I want to see you grow our children inside you while we protect them and love them.”
“I didn’t know how much I wanted to have a baby with you until you told me that test was negative.” She sobbed. “I want to have your babies.”
“You will when the time is right.” I kissed her salty tears away. “I promise.”
“I don’t have to go back on birth control?”
“Not if you don’t want to.” I would give her a baby if that was what she wanted, despite my worst fears. Hell, I would give her anything. “But I don’t want you to stress over this. It will happen when it happens.”
“I won’t.” She curled up in a ball on the floor and rested her head in my lap. “I really thought the test was going to be positive.”
Even though the test was negative, the weight in my chest remained. The memory of my mother’s laughter—so full of life before it was stolen from her—haunted me. I’d been a boy, powerless to stop it. Now I was a man, and the thought of watching Lissia suffer the same fate left me paralyzed.
But as she rested her head in my lap, tears streaming silently, I realized something: my fear couldn’t dictate our future.
“Why did you think you were pregnant? You haven’t been off your birth control that long.”
“But we do have a lot of sex.”
“That’s true.”
“I’ve been feeling so off. My stomach has been queasy, I’m hormonal… I haven’t been me.” She rolled onto her back and stared up at me. “I haven’t gone shopping in days.”
I tried to conceal a smile, but as usual around her, I failed.
“I’m serious,” she said.
“I know you are.” I stroked her hair. “You haven’t been yourself because too much has been going on lately. It’s understandable that you’re not yourself.”
“You’ve been with me every step of the way. Through my tantrums and my uncertainties.”
“Where else would I be?”
She was certainly herself when she stepped between me and Collins tonight, and she didn’t miss a beat when she challenged me about going to Miami. I’d say she was more like herself than ever.
“You really want to have kids with me?” she asked.
I thought about my answer for a few seconds. Despite my torment over what had happened to my mother, I couldn’t let that stop me from living my life. I had already overcome so much by falling in love with Lissia. I wanted everything that came with that love.
“I want it all.” I traced my fingers along her lips. “A full and happy life with you.”
“What if we have a girl and she turns out like me?”
“I’d be very lucky.”
She crawled into my lap and straddled me. “You mean that, don’t you?”
“Call me crazy, but I do.”
“That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“I’m absurdly in love with you.” I tangled my fingers in her hair and kissed her throat, breathing in her strawberry-scented skin.
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