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“So?”

“Elven sex, Carter. You have taken to writing sex between mythological creatures. I’m not setting you up with Brooklyn. As a bonus to decluttering that thing you call a desk, maybe being around Brooklyn will remind you that there are still women on this planet!”

I laugh. “You should go into the theater.”

“Shut up.”

“Seriously. Maybe you’re projecting.”

“Nope. If I could find a woman worth the effort, I’d jump. At this point, I’d take an elf if she were real.”

I chuckle. I believe that.

“You don’t even look anymore,” she says.

“Ali,” I begin. “Do you remember last week when you lost your glasses?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Do you?”

“Of course.”

“You tore apart your house looking for them. You called me freaking out.”

“Because I needed to drive!”

“What did I tell you?”

Ali huffs. “Stop looking for a few minutes and you’ll find them.”

“Exactly.”

“So, you’re telling me you’re not looking for a woman because if you wait, she’ll find you.”

I’m not telling Ali anything about me. If, and that’s a big if, a woman captured my attention and expressed an interest in some alone time together, I would jump too. “I don’t think this conversation is about me,” I say. “Trust me, I can take care of myself.”

“I’m not touching that,” Ali says.

We both laugh.

“If I hire Brooklyn, it will be to revamp my business,” I explain. “Not to restart my love life—in any way.”

“All right, I’ll lay off.”

“Thank you.”

“About Brooklyn. Not about you and the fact you need a date with something other than that twirling mermaid you bought in Provincetown.”

Leave it to Ali to bring up my vibrator purchase on our last trip to the Cape.

“I can just imagine this next book:The Little Mermaid that Would.”

I throw a cushion from my sofa at her. “Oh, not would, Ali. She will, Ali. She definitely will.”

“That’s more disturbing than elf sex!”

I laugh. I wonder if Brooklyn has any idea about the twisted notes she might find in my files. Elf sex is nothing. “Can we change the subject now?”