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She froze. Her heart leaped against her chest wall although she controlled her external physical reaction. “How did you know?” Was what she felt written all over her face?
“How much, Teagan? Be honest.”
One minute slid into two as she wrestled with her inner demons before she locked gazes with the pastor and leaped into unfamiliar territory. “I love him.”
“Does he know how you feel?”
Teagan shook her head.
“Does he know about your background?”
“Yes.”
“He’s promised to keep you safe, hasn’t he?”
“Yes, sir,” she whispered.
“That’s your answer.”
She blinked. “Sir?”
“You know he’ll make good on his promise. If Peters and Richardson target you, you know in your gut that Seth will step in as team leader and as a man who cares about you to take whatever punishment they dish out.” Marcus leaned closer to the screen. “You’re not afraid to be hurt yourself, Teagan. You’re afraid Seth will be hurt shielding you.”
Tears spilled down her cheeks. “I can’t live with that, Marcus,” she murmured. “I can’t accept Seth sacrificing himself for me.”
“You must. To men like Seth, protecting those they care about is second nature. He’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe, Teagan. It’s how he’s built. You can’t change his protective drive. Either you accept it or you walk away from your relationship with him. Stifling his natural protector instincts would gut him and make both of you miserable. If you love Seth, you must let him shield you.”
She scowled. “But it’s not right. I can protect myself.”
“Yes, you can. I wondered when you’d remember that.” He smiled. “You can also protect him while he’s safeguarding you. Equal balance of power, Teagan.”
Marcus tilted his head. “Is he in love with you?”
The question set off a bomber squadron of butterflies in her stomach. Was he? She was afraid to hope and risk having her heart broken. But, oh my, if he loved her? Teagan couldn’t have asked for a greater gift. “He hasn’t said.”
“But?”
Suck it up, Teagan, she admonished herself. “Seth cares about me a great deal,” she said in a compromise.
A slight nod. “Then let him protect you while you watch his back.”
Protect him while he kept her safe? That she could do. As Marcus said, it was an equal balance of power. She was also a trained protector. Where before she’d focused on protecting her teammates and Fortress coworkers, now she could protect the man she adored. No matter what she had to endure, she’d handle it to keep Seth safe.
“Believe his promise, Teagan, and shield him as he shields you.”
The ball of ice in her stomach melted. “The answer is so simple. Why didn’t I see this for myself?”
“You’re too close to the problem. If this had been a similar operation without Seth’s life being on the line, you wouldn’t have an issue. Cut yourself some slack. You’ve come a long way in a remarkably short time. Some people never get over childhood trauma. You’re handling it with grace, my friend.”
“Thanks, Marcus. I owe you.”
“No problem. Do what’s necessary to protect yourself and Seth. You’re no longer an unskilled and untrained teenage victim. You’re a capable operative who easily kicks backsides and takes names. Trust yourself and the man you love, Teagan.”
Marcus smiled. “When you return to Otter Creek to refresh your training at PSI, bring Seth with you. Paige and I would love to have dinner with you both and get to know your man.”
“I’ll see what I can work out. Hug Paige for me.”
“That will be my pleasure.” His smile faded. “Call me anytime, Teagan. Day or night. I’m here if you need me. Be safe, my friend.” And he was gone.