Page 66

Story: Control

She finally looks at me. Her eyes narrow. They’re sharp and cold, full of venom. “I have nothing to say to you.”

“Don’t shut me out.” I move closer, not backing down. “You think I wanted to hurt you? You think I don’t regret what I did? You think I’ve been able to sleep a single night since you walked into my life and turned it upside down? I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, not even a fraction of it, but goddamn it, I can’t stay away. Yes, I’m selfish, but it’s because I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

She laughs, but it’s empty, hollow.

“I never wanted this for you,” I say, my voice lower now, quieter and raw. “I don’t know how to make it right, but I know it’s the truth. And I know nothing I say will change the past. But I can’t live without you, Daniela.”

“You can’t live without me?” Her voice cracks, but she doesn’t look away as she rises to her feet.” “What about what I want? When has this messed-up relationship ever been about me? You kidnapped me, forced me to live with you, andthreatened me over and over. And then, just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, I found out you killed my parents. And your answer to all of that is you can’t live without me? What about me, Remo? What about what I want? How the hell am I supposed to look at you? Kiss you? Touch you? When everything about you just takes me back to the worst moment of my life?”

Her anger seeps into every word, and they hang in the air like a heavy fog. The silence between us feels like a wall, thick and suffocating. My chest tightens, but I can’t pull away. Not now.

“I never meant for any of this to happen,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper. “You’re right. Everything’s been about me. About what I wanted and what I thought I needed. But I’ve never stopped thinking about you. Even when I hurt you. Even when I shouldn’t have.”

She turns away, but I can see the way her body trembles. It’s not fear. It’s something deeper, something raw, and it pulls at something in me. I don’t know what’s left to say, but I can’t just stand here and let her go.

“I can’t fix what I’ve done,” I continue, my voice thick with frustration and desperation. “But I need you to know I’m trying. I can’t promise I’ll be everything you want, but I’ll never stop fighting for us. For you.”

She stares at me. Her eyes are filled with so much hurt, so much rage, that it makes my stomach turn. I don’t know how to make it right. I don’t know how to fix any of this. But I do know this: I can’t let her slip away. Not like this.

I take a step toward her, and she flinches, but I’m already too close. I grab her wrists before she can throw something at me.

It’s a stupid, childish move, but rage is crawling up my throat, and I can’t control it.

“Get your filthy hands off me, you bastard!” she growls.

“You’re the one wanting to throw shit at me.” I corner her to a wall.

“Because you deserve it!” she finally snaps, fury blazing in her eyes. “I trusted you. You dragged me into this mess, and you’ve been lying to me from the start.”

I don’t flinch. “You don’t get to play the victim here, not when you know what I do for a living. You knew what you were getting into.” My jaw tightens. “And it’s not like I had any other choice. They were gonna kill them. They would have sent someone else if I didn’t do it. It wasn’t just me—”

“You killed them!” she screams, the sound so raw and real that I feel it in my chest. “You just…you just killed them like they were nothing. And you think you can justify it by saying you were saving me? Well, guess what, Remo? You’re not the fucking hero here.”

I slam my hand on the wall next to her head, my breath ragged. “I didn’t want this for you, but you’re not a fucking child. And what I did kept you safe.”

She doesn’t back down. “Safe? Safe? I don’t need your protection. I don’t need you making decisions for me.”

“You think I like this?” My voice drops, suddenly quiet and dangerously low. “You think I wanted to bring you into my world? You think I wanted to make you a part of this mess?” I run a hand through my hair. “I’ve been trying to keep you out of it. To forget you. But like a damn curse, you occupy my every waking thought. I haven’t been myself for months, Daniela. I’m not some victim here, and I know I’ve hurt you. But you don’t understand. This thing, this thing I have for you, it’s not something I can control. It’s not something I want to feel, but it’s there, eating at me. I think about you every second, even when I try not to. You haunt me.

“I didn’t plan this. I didn’t plan to need you the way I do. I didn’t plan for you to be the one thing in my life that actually matters. But you are. And I can’t undo that. I know I’m a mess. I know I’m broken, I know I’ve done horrible things, but this…this isn’t something I can fix. It’s not something I can walk away from. I’ve tried. I’ve pushed you, I’ve hurt you, I’ve kept you at arm’s length because I was scared—scared of how deep this goes. Scared that if I let you in, I wouldn’t be able to let go.

“But every time you look at me, I’m reminded of how damn far gone I am. I’ve never wanted anyone like this, Daniela. I’ve never needed someone like this. And it terrifies me. So much so that I can’t fight it anymore, no matter how much I want to. I’m freaking in love with you.”

She stares at me for a long time before her face falls, and for a moment, I think she might break. But she doesn’t. Instead, she steels herself, even more distant now than before. “You…you don’t get to say that to me. I will never accept your love. You disgust me, and I regret ever meeting you. I wish you shot me that night instead so I would never have to see your pathetic face again.” she whispers.

I laugh, short and humorless. “You don’t mean that.”

“I. Mean. Every. Single. Word.”

“You’re lying,” I say, barely able to keep my frustration from boiling over.

Then, there’s silence between us, thick and suffocating.

“You should go,” she finally says, her voice so small, so defeated. “Just go.”

I shake my head. “I’m not leaving you alone. Not when I know you’re hurting. You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t see it?” I lean in, my voice low. “I’m right here, Daniela. I’m not going anywhere.”

For a moment, she doesn’t speak. She doesn’t move. It’s like the world stops, just for a second. And in that second, I close the gap between us.