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“It’s not like we had a real chance to unlike him,” Myron points out with tone so dark I can feel the afternoon light fade from the room for a few breaths.

Silas shakes his head. “But I’d like to believe that we showed him mercy and could easily rectify that mistake. It makes me feel more in control.”

His admission is a hit in the gut, as are the black veins creeping into Myron’s eyes as he turns to the warrior, features hard as stone. “There will be no mercy next time we face him.”

Ayna

At the dinnertable a few hours later, none of us is showing great appetite. Recienne has briefed Clio and Tori about Tata’s news while Myron took it upon himself to inform Kaira, Herinor, and Royad. Silas already knows everything firsthand, so he helped fill everyone in while I went back to my room, not to wallow, this time, but to stare into the mirror for the better part of an hour while I tried to decide if I can make it through a conversation with Myron without hurting either of us.

Now that everyone is seated around the long oak table in Recienne’s dining room, I still don’t have an answer. So, I’m leaving my odds up to fate,chewing on my food while Myron inserts his thoughts here and there into Tori’s commentary of how to best proceed.

“There is no question we need to stop the weapons delivery,” the general drives home his point. “Waiting and seeing will get us killed faster than we can spell our own names backward.”

“That’s a fairly long time,” Clio notes, and I faintly remember their full names are obnoxiously extensive. No one laughs at her comment, not even Silas, who usually would let his dark humor get the best of him at any chance.

Tori is right. “If we allow the delivery to arrive, we’ll lose our advantage,” I throw in, pondering the merits of fighting with my new abilities compared to my mere human strength. The Crow senses and powers are an immense upgrade to my ability to survive. I can match Clio’s and even Silas’s strength because of them, even when I need to put in my all to defeat them in training. I was able to hold my own against the Flames—until they put me on my stomach and pushed a torch into my mate mark. Gritting my teeth, I allow the resentment and anger to flush through my veins, sitting out the wave of emotions as I wait for them to make way for the awkward emptiness that comes with the after-effects of what they tried to do to me.

No matter what they do, you’ll always be there, inside my heart.I don’t need a mate mark to tell me I’m yours. Myron’s words echo through my mind.And I’m ready to wait for all eternity for you to remember you’re mine, too.

From the corner of my eye, I glance at Myron as he chews on his food. The signs of exhaustion are more prominent, as if he exerted himself since we spoke this afternoon,and I notice the slight tremble in his hand as he spears a bite of fish and leads it to his mouth.

A part of me withers, seeing him like this, while the other part is ready to take his fingers in mine to steady them. The thought feels natural enough not to make me question what it means—if things are improving inside my messed up self. I don’t want to do this to him. I don’t want to do it to us, un-mating symptoms or no.

Closing my eyes, I reach deep into the darkness inside my chest to search for the fragile thread I know lies buried beneath pain and insecurity, and find a thin glimmer of light.

For three quiet breaths, I hold onto it, wondering how long it will take for the bond to grow thick and strong again. When I open my eyes, Myron’s gaze is lingering on my face, hand steady mid-air, fork halfway to his mouth.

Someone clears their throat, and I’m back in the conversation that has been carrying on without us.

“We don’t know nearly enough about the delivery, and Tata doesn’t know where exactly the army is gathering, does she?” Herinor wants to know. He’s been mainly listening, studying the dynamics at the table with a stony expression on his scarred face.

Next to me, Kaira is plucking on her slice of rye bread, nibbling on little pieces but not making much progress. My own plate is half full with steamed vegetables and a delicious type of fish I haven’t eaten before, even after spending so many years on a ship.

“Where does the fish come from?”I try my luck, prompting Tori in my head. While I’ve been dealing with the un-mating troubles and wondering if things will ever go back to normal,I’ve made it a daily routine to practice my mind-reading, projecting, and shielding skills.

The surprise makes me choke on a piece of said fish, though when Tori lifts his head as if I addressed him with my normal voice.

“I’ve never eaten anything like it,”I let him know with as much of a victorious grin as the situation would allow.

Tori subtly inclines his head. “So, you’ve decided fish is a good topic to converse about in our minds? How about‘Why the fuck haven’t you put your mate out of his misery’?”His expression is blank as he adds, “Thanks for practicing that shield, though. It’s a relief not to hear you acknowledge the abs of every last male in this palace.”

“Hey, I haven’t been—”I stop right there. Because it’s true.

I haven’t been ogling anyone since the conversation with Myron in the arena. “Perhaps Silas was right, and things are getting back to normal.”I try to keep the relief out of my tone—and the hope.

“We’re at war. There’s nothing normal about the situation, with or without your mating hiccups.”The softness in his eyes tells me he doesn’t mean to hurt me as he puts my problems into perspective, and he’s right. Guardians, is he right.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”An auburn brow rises on his forehead as he plops a bite of fish into his mouth.

I try not to turn crimson as I admit, “For checking out your abs…”

He stops chewing, grins, continues chewing. “You only checked out my ass, my dear. And that’s all right. Everyonedoes it.”Winking at me, he takes Clio’s hand, placing a kiss on the back of her palm, much to the protest of the female who’s trying to get a bite of vegetable onto her fork.

“What was that for?” she demands, earning Tori’s amused chuckle and a confused glance from the rest of the table.

Tori merely shakes his head. “So, the weapons... We don’t know when they will be arriving, or where. We only know they are on their way.”