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“No.” Tess shakes her head, picking at the label on the empty bottle in front of her. “I can’t do that.” She stands up, taking her empty with her. “Declan and I don’t exactly have a history of effective communication.” Dropping it in the trash, she opens the fridge again. This time, she pulls out a couple of bottles of water. “To be honest, I wouldn’t even know where to start.”
I think about Tess and Declan. Everything they’ve put each other through. All the things they refuse to say to each other. Choosing to hurt and confuse each other instead. So much and for so long that they don’t even know how to breathe around one another without causing pain.
Eleven months ago, that was us. Eleven months ago, all Patrick and I could do was cause each other pain. We couldn’t trust each other. That there was more between us.
I spent the last eleven months figuring it out, flipping through three years worth of memories, trying to pinpoint the exact moment when it happened. When he fell in love with me. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t find it because he’s always loved me—just like he said.
“The truth.” I take the bottle of water she’s offering me. “You start by telling him the truth—about how you feel.” I angle my head, so I can catch her gaze with mine. “How you really feel, Tess.”
“I can’t,” she says, shaking her head. I watch her struggle for a few seconds, struggling to put into words what Conner already told me.
That there’d been a baby.
That Declan left her and she lost it.
Finally, she clears her throat. “He hurt me,” she tells me, her voice barely held above a whisper. “No matter what I feel, I can’t give him the chance to do it again.”
Before I can get her to tell me her side of things, she swipes a hand over her face, erasing whatever emotion she’d been feeling. “I see Cap’n gave you your birthday present,” she says, effectively ending the conversation.
I blush and look down. The chain is visible above the neckline of my shirt, the charm tucked inside. I lift it out and show it to her. “He gave it to me last night,” I say, grinning like an idiot.
“I heard that’s not all he gave you last night,” Tess says, wagging her eyebrows at me and then laughing at what must’ve been a look of pure mortification. “Don’t worry, Cap’n is a gentleman. He didn’t say a word, but Con’s a total perv—and as such, has a way of sniffing these things out.” Her face relaxes into a smile. “I’m happy for you,” she tells me, nodding her head. “I’m glad you guys are finally figuring it out.”
I feel guilty for being happy. Like I’m rubbing it in her face. “Tess—”
“I gotta get back to the garage before Con shows up on your doorstep and drags me down the stairs by my hair,” she says, recapping her water and shutting her pizza box. “You and Cap’n have plans tonight?”
“Sort of—I’m supposed to go to dinner with Miranda and Chase.” I stand, watching her close the lid on the pizza box before tucking it under her arm. “I was going to ask him to go with me,” I say walking her to the door. It’s Thursday—that means both Con and Declan will be behind the bar. Together. It also means Tess will be alone. “But I can cancel. I’ll call Chase and—”
“Don’t you dare,” she says, sounding more like the Tess I know. “I don’t need a babysitter. I’ll be fine.”
Finemeans she’ll pull an all-nighter at the garage, working on cars until she passes out on her creeper in the middle of an oil change. Opening the door, she turns and looks at me. “I really am happy for you, Cari.”
She’s halfway down the stairs before I find the courage to say it. “Tell him how you feel, Tess.”
She turns and looks at me. “You should take your own advice,” she says before disappearing around the corner. A few seconds later, I hear the door slam closed behind her.