Page 79 of Catnip, Claws, and Chaos
I close my eyes, but all I see is his face when he talked about Valerie. The raw pain etched into every line, the grief he's carried for years. How can I ask him to face that again? How can I be the one to drag him back to his darkest moment?
A soft knock at the door makes me jump.
“Em? You okay in there?” Logan's voice filters through. “I brought you some crackers and ginger ale.”
“Thanks,” I call back. “Just leave them by the door. Still not feeling great.”
“You've been in there all day. Should I call a doctor?”
I almost burst into hysterical laughter. A doctor. Yeah, I've seen one of those recently. Your best friend, actually. He gave me some life-altering news. Want to hear it?
“No,” I say instead. “Just a stubborn bug. I'll be fine.”
Silence stretches, and for a moment, I think he's gone. Then, “I miss you.”
The words pierce through my defenses, a perfect kill shot to my already fragile heart. Tears spring to my eyes.
“I miss you too,” I whisper, but he's already gone, his footsteps fading down the hall.
Seconds later, I hear the shower turn on in his bathroom. Before I can stop myself, my mind conjures images of water cascading down his muscular body, droplets clinging to his skin, his hair darkened and slicked back?—
Jesus, these hormones are turning me into a nymphomaniac. How am I supposed to make life-altering decisions when I can't stop thinking about jumping the man who got me into this predicament in the first place?
I grab my phone again.
Emily: What the actual fuck am I supposed to do?
Three dots appear as they both start typing.
Kate: You have options. Three of them, to be exact.
Sarah: Don't make her list them, Em.
Too late. Kate's already typing her bullet points.
Kate: One, you can terminate it. No one ever needs to know. It's your body, and the choice should be only yours. Two, keep the baby, tell Logan, and deal with the fallout. Three, keep the baby, don't tell Logan, and raise the kid as a fierce single mom.
Sarah: Kate! Jesus! A little sensitivity?
Kate: What? I'm just listing the fucking options. Isn't that what friends do?
I stare at the screen. Kate's brutal efficiency is somehow comforting. At least someone's thinking clearly here.
Emily: And what would you do?
Three dots. Long pause.
Kate: I don't know. But I'm not you. And I'm definitely not in love with the father.
Emily: I never said I was in love with Logan.
Kate: You didn't have to. It's written all over your face every time you look at him.
Dammit. Am I that transparent?
Sarah: Whatever you decide, we're here for you. All the way.
Emily: I need to see you guys. Tomorrow. Lunch?
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