Page 101 of Burn

I fight to pull in a lungful of air. He’s so heavy, and I don’t think he realizes how hard he’s pressing into me. His head falls forward, pressing into the wall, and his breaths are shaky. His hand travels up the length of my arm, and goosebumps erupt across my skin. A shudder runs through me, and he leans back, searching my face.

I plead with my eyes, since my words aren’t working. He brushes the pad of his thumb across the apple of my cheek, and then I watch him crumble, releasing my other wrist and stumbling back. He begins rubbing his chest again, leaning onto the table. I take a deep breath, feeling my lungs expand fully.

I keep my voice soft and gentle. “I’m going to go.”

He doesn’t move.

Well, not at first. He stays statue still with his eyes trained to the floor, hand pressed to the space over his heart, until I reach for the lock on the door. I don’t register him moving, and I’ve pulled the door open about an inch when his shoulder slams it closed, and in one swift movement, he hauls me over his shoulder. My bags and Mildred in her carrier clatter onto the ground with a dull thud.

Scream.

I can’t.

But I can squirm and fight, so I do. I slam his back with my fists, trying to get out of his grasp, but he wraps both arms around me, anchoring me in place as he walks toward the bedroom.

No. No. No.

“Don’t do this!” I beg.

I kick my feet, but he’s got me so tight they barely move. His movements are so methodical, and when the cuff clicks onto my wrist, the first wave of terror hits me.

“No!”

The second click echoes through my ears, and when he steps back, I pull wildly against the restraints, but they’re solid. I twist and roll until my wrists burn from the bite of the metal cuffs. These aren’t fun sex toys with a safety release. These are heavy and cold; when I pull, the bed shifts, dragging across the floor.

“Please!”

I’m trapped.

I plant my feet against the bed frame and pull as hard as possible. Red-hot pain shoots through my arms. When the pain is too much, and sweat has dotted my forehead, I still, struggling to catch my breath. I flick my gaze to Adrian, my mouth open in disbelief, but what I see stuns me so much that I can’t say another word. My mind shatters, fractures into a thousand pieces, and despite my inability to make a sound, my mind is a thunderous scream that matches the storm outside.

He grips the side of his head, eyes closed tight. The vein in his neck pulsates. Without looking at me, he takes a step back, toward the door.

Don’t leave me.

Don’t leave me alone like this.

“I’m sorry,” he chokes out, a strangled, tortured voice.

The first scream tears through me when the door closes, and my heart crumples.

I scream because I fell for it.

I fell for him.

I scream because I trustedhim.

Shrapnel

Adrian

Boom

If the lights in the kitchen didn’t flicker one last time before staying off, I’d have assumed the sound was my heart trying to burst out of my chest. Despite being mid-morning, the apartment is cloaked in darkness, and I lean my head against the bedroom door. Her scream pierces the air. It’s desperate and reminds me of an animal in its final moments. It bounces off the walls around me and in my brain. I hear it again and again and start to wonder if she’s just constantly screaming or if it’s a sound that finds its place in my nightmares.

Another flash of lightning followed by a crack of thunder, and I heard her softly crying behind the door. I don’t know how I got here. I barely remember walking in the door, bumping the cat carrier. After that, it’s a blur of emotions I’m not equipped to handle.

“Adrian, please!” Her voice is muffled, but undeniably sad.