Page 26

7 Trial By Fire

Despite my lack of enthusiasm and my dislike of Professor Wertzman, I was able to play a crude rendition of "When the Saints Come Marching In" five weeks after I had begun my lessons. Pamela thought this proved I was talented enough to perform at the first pageant. As the reality of my actually participating in that event grew, she decided to begin instructing me on how to do what she called the Runway Walk.

"The only difference is that instead of presenting some designer's new fashion, you're really presenting yourself," she explained.

We used the long downstairs corridor in our house, and she immediately criticized the size of my steps.

"You're plodding along like a robot, not walking You've got to glide over that stage, float. Think of yourself as made of air. That's how I was taught. Soft, soft, feminine, soft," she chanted as I repeated the journey from the front door to the dining room. "Glide. Don't move your arms so much, relax. Open your hands. You can't walk out with your fists clenched! You're not smiling, Brooke. Smile. Stop!"

She thought a moment. "You can't look bored or uncomfortable, Brooke. Beauty must be ignited with enthusiasm. This is the motto I was taught, and you must learn and live it as well."

"I feel silly," I grumbled.

"You must get over that. What you're doing is not silly. It's professional. The judges must sense that you have self-confidence?'

"But I don't belong in a beauty pageant. I'm not beautiful," I insisted.

She raised her eyes to the ceiling and looked as if she was counting to ten. "All right," she said in a softer voice. "Come with me now."

She walked briskly to the stairway and waited for me to catch up. Then she caught my hand in hers and took me up to her bedroom.

"Sit," she said, pointing at her vanity table. I did so. "Look at yourself in that mirror. What do you think are your worst features?"

"All of them," I moaned.

"Wrong. You have a great deal of raw beauty. Now, do as I say," she ordered, and pulled out her lip pencils. "Bold lips are back. Not every young woman can wear bold eye shadow, but most can easily wear a bold lip color.

"If you knew anything about makeup and faces, you would know you don't have what we call beestung lips, so you should stay away from dark, matte shades. You need colors with more intensity. Dark colors will make your mouth look smaller. First, open your mouth." She demonstrated. "I want to line your lips fully."

I did what she said, and she began.

"Good," she said, stepping back and

scrutinizing me. "I like to mix and match my lipsticks. In the morning, begin with a matte lipstick. Then, later, rather than add more of that, which might look cakey, I'll smooth on either a clear gloss or lip balm. Sometimes I try a sheer moisturizing lipstick or colored gloss," she lectured as she worked.

She had my face turned to her so I didn't see everything she was doing, but she worked like an artist and then said, "There."

I turned and looked with surprise at my face. My lips were prominent now.

"My mouth looks so different," I said. She laughed.

"Audrey Hepburn, who had thin lips, used to outline just lightly over the lip line like that. Everyone has her own little tricks?'

She studied my image in the mirror a moment. "You can wear a dark eye liner, I think," she said. She continued to make up my face, powdering, working on my eyes, until she had what she wanted and told me to look at myself again.

"Well?" she asked.

"I look so . ."

"Pretty?"

I was afraid to use that word. Did I dare think it? "Different. Am I pretty?"

"I've been telling you that ever since I set eyes on you. Now that you are made up and see what you can look like, you should feel more comfortable and confident about yourself. I want you to do more in the way of makeup every day so you get used to it, Brooke?"

"You mean put on makeup for school?"

"Of course. That's why I bought all this for you and had it here before you arrived. Every day from now on, I want you to prepare your face as if you were entering a beauty contest. That's what life is for us, anyway, a continually running beauty pageant."