Page 48

“I’ll be right by morning.”

“Those transports are geo-locked to secured areas,” says Khra. “We won’t be able to go to the mines tomorrow.”

“Can you hack it?”

“Maybe. But I can’t promise anything soon.”

“We’ll find a way. He’s down there, in that last system. I know it. That man is a survivor,” I say, remembering the determined, relentless look on Lola’s father’s face.

He’s down there, in the dark, but he won’t give up.

18

LOLA

My heart sinks as I hear them crawling up the side of the cliff face. I rush out of the tent.

“What happened?” I say, tears coming to my eyes. It’s the first day of their leave, the day they were supposed to spend searching the deepest cave systems. They are clad in their black combat robes, looking alien and focused.

If they’re back so soon, it can only mean one thing – they found him, dead or alive, and with the serious looks in their eyes as they pull themselves over the cliff edge, I know it’s not good news.

“I’m sorry, Lola. We couldn’t search today.”

I nearly collapse with relief. “Oh, thank the Gods. I thought…”

Khra cocks his head. “They took our Reaver. The standard transports are geo-locked. I haven’t been able to hack their code yet, but I’m trying. The mine zones are off-limits for us. If we can’t crack it, we’ll go in three days. We’ve signed up for double patrol, and it’ll give us enough time to search the deepest mining shafts. For now, we’re on leave—and no one’s expecting us back.”

“We told some of our friends we were going on a hiking trip for a few days,” says Bolden. I can’t imagine the three of them having friends, but I suppose even brutal soldiers find camaraderie in the centuries at war.

“So you’re free? For two days?” I ask, not sure how to react. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do when they came back, because after the final cave system was explored, all hope would be lost or they would have found my father alive.

I was going to have to confront whether I care about these three men, once I can no longer hide in the idea that I need them to help me. As long as there is another reason for me to be with them, I can keep a wall around my heart…

And I was terrified by what would happen if it came down.

It’s hard to read them, but even I can see guilt on Krazak’s face. “We can take the transport north and walk. But Khra calculated it. We’d have to go at a run to make it in time, and then ten hours into the shaft.”

“You could get killed. Or be caught. It’s better you wait,” I say. He’s feeling guilty that he’s not spending every waking moment searching for him.

“I’ve got something for you,” says Khra, and I see he’s holding what looks like a bundle of cords. He crouches by the side of the cliff face, and a ladder unfurls below. I step next to him and look down. The ladder molds itself to the wall, with thick rungs made for Aurelian hands. “Since you’re here, alone, I thought you might like to explore when we’re going.”

“Thank you. But are you three going now? Or are you staying?”

There’s a wariness to them, too. As if the three of them have walls around the deepest part of their being.

The way they are looking at me, as if I am too precious to exist, makes me understand. I hope I’m wrong, because it feels like they think they don’t deserve this. Like they’re too broken to be allowed a respite in my arms, no matter how brief it is.

“What would you like us to do?” asks Khra.

I’d been expecting to spend another day alone, unable to enjoy anything, just waiting for news of my father, good or bad.

“I’d like to enjoy these two days,” I say, and this time, my smile isn’t fake. “Back when I was a kid, sometimes my family—” I force myself to be strong. “Sometimes we’d take my dad’s boat out on the ocean, when he wasn’t too busy with work. It was a real old-school boat, with sails and everything, and I can remember the way the sun would make him squint, how my mom would…” I trail off, wracked with emotion as I remember my mom singing sweetly.

I’ve lost those moments, but they happened. They happened, and that mattered.

“We’ll get a boat then. We’ll have to smuggle you on,” says Bolden.

“Why?”