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I didn’t expect her to be.

I'm sorry? And you don’t know that. Judges are human, after all.

I know you did well, Kiri. You don’t have to comfort me. I don’t deserve it.

No, she didn’t, but I was doing it anyway.

Come over later. Like, very later.

She didn’t answer, and that stressed me out. I could feel her upset through the messages. Maybe this wasn’t the right time, but I couldn’t help the urge to be nice to her.

The sex had changed things between us, and I’d gotten myself into a pickle. This wasn’t the right time to try and sort everything out. We’d have to wait until we got back, but I hoped she would come over tonight and I could see how she was and hear about everything.

At long last, we were called back to the floor and all thirty squads somehow each crammed onto the mat. They were going to call out the top ten squads, and then everyone else would be required to leave the floor. Then the top ten would stay on the mat and they’d announce who got what place, one by one, until the top spot. The scores for today would be thrown out, and tomorrow the top ten teams would get a fresh slate to perform with.

I herded my kids into the back and went out to the front to wait. I wanted to be realistic, but I also wanted to leave room for hope of a miracle. It could happen, right? Something amazing could happen.

Dom and I waited in the stands with the parents, all holding hands and holding our collective breaths as each team was announced. I watched my kids and my heart broke when the last top ten team was announced and it wasn’t us. The Heartwood Bulldogs didn’t make it either.

Even though they knew it was a long shot, they were still crushed, and I had to hug and comfort for a while, along with all the coaches of the other losing teams.

“Listen, you did your absolute best. You couldn’t have done anything else. You did Corsica proud, and now you get to go to Disney.” That made them smile a little, but it would take some time for those broken hearts to heal. Everything feels like the end of the world when you’re a teenager in high school. I knew, I’d been there, and those memories still stung.

Everyone gathered their things and we went back to the hotel. The top ten teams would be up late tonight, practicing and perfecting for the performance tomorrow. I wanted to go watch, but I didn’t think a whole lot of my squad did. Dom and I were splitting up and he would take one group to the pool and I’d take the ones that wanted to watch to the stadium.

I made them all eat when we got to the hotel, since they hadn’t eaten for much of the day. I had my first full meal, and I definitely planned on late night room service again.

“You good?” Dom asked me.

“I mean, sure, I’m disappointed. I can’t not be. But I didn’t think we’d make it. I’m interested to see the teams tomorrow. Maybe I can get some inspiration for next year.”

“I texted Cam about everything. She wants the video as soon as you have it.” There were strict rules about video at competitions, but one of our parents had snuck in her phone and taken video. As long as no one posted it online, we wouldn’t get in trouble.

“Cool.”

The cheerleaders were crashing from the intensity of the day, so I herded them all upstairs to their rooms. Off came the cheer makeup, the ponytails were taken down, the uniforms tossed back into suitcases.

It was over.

There was always a letdown after a competition, and I was feeling it hard. It was an aching feeling, a relative of loneliness. A feeling ofwhat now?

I checked all the rooms and made sure everyone was headed to bed before going back to my room. Dom was hanging out and watching TV with me and we talked about the performance and the day and reviewed our score sheet. Being around so many other cheerleaders always inspired me, and seeing other routines gave me ideas for things I could do with the squad, so we went over a few things we’d seen.

“We really need a tumbling coach,” Dom said. “That's honestly where we’re weakest.” It was true. There was no way we could ever hope to move up without some serious work on tumbling, which would take years. Standing fulls were not built in a day.

“We need to get a more robust feeder program going, too.” When you started kids out at three and four and five teaching them skills, by the time they were in high school they were already on another level than kids who started when they were teenagers. That’s why it took so long to make a program successful.

“We’ll get there again, K. We will.” Dom sighed and closed his eyes.

“I’m so damn tired. If I don’t go now, I’m going to fall asleep.” I stood up and grabbed his arm, helping him get to his feet as he yawned.

Dom got out the door and I watched to make sure he made it back to his room, which was next to mine.

Then I was alone and I was so bone weary that I couldn’t even think. Somehow, I mustered the strength to order room service and put the robe back on.

The knock came at the door and I got up to let the room service person in, but found Echo.

“Hey,” she said, her voice limp. Her mouth was turned down and her eyes were red.