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Why not?

Because I told myself I wouldn’t.

I need you to tell me to stop.

Stop what, Nick?

Wanting you.

Hot, tingly feelings. Everywhere.Wanting you.I’m not sure what he’s referring to, but I can make a guess.

My free hand finds the outside of my thigh, skimming the hem of my pajama shorts. These last few weeks of celibacy have been punishing. If I’ve found them difficult, I can’t imagine how they’ve been for Nick. He’d probably be out at the Monarch Lounge with a woman on each arm right now, if it weren’t for me.

I haven’t been with anyone since I broke up with my last ex, almost a year ago.

Asking him to tell me what’s been going on in his head would be against so many rules, I might as well throw theNo Intimacyclause into a cardboard box and start it on fire.

But if it takes the pressure off …

I cross my legs under the blankets, staring at the words shining on my phone screen. Would it really be that bad? He isn’t here with me. We’re not in the same room. We’re not being intimate out loud. It’s like Lena said:If it’s words on a screen, it doesn’t count.She called me the queen of loopholes.

The cursor in my text box blinks at me. Nick and I have been exploiting the texting loophole for weeks, now. How would this be any different?

Sienna

How do you want me?

Nick

Sienna.

Nick. We’ve been good. I want to know.

I don’t want to fuck anything up.

You won’t.

Tell me.

It’s two minutes of forcing my breathing to be slow and steady before the next message comes in. I turn to gaze at the wall of my bedroom, imagining Nick in his own room down the hall. Sitting on his bed, maybe, like me. Phone in front of him, trying to think of what to say.

Nick

I keep picturing you in that wedding dress, standing across from me.

Sienna

Yes?

I forgot to fake it. I forgot about the deal, the company, all of it.

All I could think about was how good it would feel to kiss you again.

Just like that, the air in my bedroom is too thick, too warm.

I flop onto my back, holding my phone over my face. I’ve dreamed about the wedding almost every night since it happened. Nick waiting for me at the table with the flowers, how incredible he looked in his suit, like someone’s billionaire playboy fantasy. His arm pressed against mine, sending waves of heat through my body.

My phone buzzes again.