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That familiar thought spiral whirls around me, freezing me in my tracks. I know I have to move, have to do something, but I just can’t. Sitting down on the bed, I focus on my square breathing, doing what I can until the pill kicks in. But something is still wrong. I feel it in my gut.

An itch slides over my skin, just beneath the surface. At least it’s something else to focus on. I claw at my skin, grateful for my short nails. It helps the itchy sensation but doesn’t break the surface. My brain fixates on every little thing, nearly driving me mad.

Rising, I tug and twist, pulling at the comforter until it’s just right. But then the pillow is wrong. All of it is wrong. All wrong. Why is it wrong?

11:35

Fuck. I have to go. But I can’t until everything is fixed.

11:36

I’m not even dressed. How can I get dressed when this picture hangs crooked?

11:37

They’re going to arrest me. I’m going to jail because my stupid fucking brain won’t stop.

11:38

I just need clothes. Damn it all to hell. Any clothes will work. Underwear. Bra. Socks. Pants. Shirt. Shoes. Good. I’m dressed. Dressed is good.

11:40

Will I even make it on time?

Grabbing my purse, I fly down the steps, my heart pounding in a relentless staccato.

Where’s the driver?

11:42

Where’s the fucking driver?

11:43

“Miss, there’s a car waiting for you outside from Corner Haven Civic Center? They say it was expected?”

Relief pours over me, shutting down my fight-or-flight instinct. I sway a touch as the adrenaline leeches from my body. “Yes. Thank you. I’m on my way out.”

A town car waits for me with a spiffy-looking driver. He nods and opens the door, helping me inside. The moment he shuts me in, I slump over onto the massive seat. Despite being so hot, my pulse calms down enough for me to take an easy breath.

Tired. So fucking tired.

The pill must be kicking in because all I want to do is sleep. Closing my eyes, I let myself drift for a moment. Just a small moment.

“Miss?”A hand grabs my shoulder, jostling me for a moment. “Miss? Are you okay?”

Blinking up, I take in the face of the driver. “Are we here? What time is it?” I pull up my phone. 11:59. “Oh. Oh God. I have to go!”

“Easy there, miss. They know you’re here. Everything is okay. I just need you to breathe for me for a second. Can you do that?”

I sit there for a moment, dragging air in and out of my lungs. “Yes. I can do that.”

For the moment, each breath glides in and out with no resistance. I search inside myself for the panic I know should be there, but it’s not. Thank God. The pill seems to be working. My limbs still quiver as I take his outstretched hand and step out into the bright sunlight.

“There now. It’s straight through those glass doors. Reception will take care of you.”

Nodding my thanks, I force one foot in front of the other as I make my way toward the looming hunk of glass. For a civic center, it’s rather pretty, but still not where I’d want to have awedding. It’s so pedestrian, so normal. Once more, tears prick my eyes as I lay my hand against the door handle.