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So good

Good.After the emotions of last night wore off, I was super embarrassed about how I had reacted in front of Asher. He’d given me that charity hug after sensing I was on the verge of tears and I’d held on to him for an awkwardly long time. Long enough for him to realize I was more upset than I was letting on. And that made me angry. My mom didn’t get to have this effect on me anymore. I’d spent years crying over her.

In the middle of that eternal hug, Erin had showed up, saving Asher. I’d lain in bed the rest of the night analyzing the day. I’dcalled myself his girlfriend to Elinor, then made him comfort me through a breakdown.

My phone buzzed again, bringing me back into this moment, in the café with Kamala. A selfie of Asher and Chad popped up.

Chad’s working today?I texted.

Yes, I’ve decided he’s actually pretty cool.

“I overstepped yesterday,” I said, turning my phone toward Kamala.

She leaned over the counter to get a closer look. “What does that have to do with overstepping?”

“Asher is trying to show me that he just wants to be friends. Not only that, he’s friends with everyone. Even the guy he thought I might’ve liked.”

“Huh?”

“He wants me to know that he’s a friend to all. That he would rub Chad’s back if Chad was upset.” Yes, at some point during our forever hug, Asher had begun rubbing my back.

“Oh please,” Kamala said. “Now who’s being dramatic? Stop reading into that picture and focus on the fact that he’s texting you pictures. He wants to talk to you.”

“He wants to talk to everyone.”

“You know what your problem is?” Kamala asked.

“Which one? I have many.”

“You feel like you revealed too much last night. You like this boy. You showed him more than you were ready to show him and now you’re pretending like it’s him who’s trying to pull back when really it’s you.”

I stood and went to the lit display of baked goods by the register.

“You know I’m right!” Kamala said.

“You know what my main problem is? Aside from what you just said.” Which was probably true as well. “I lied to him. No good relationship starts with a lie. We were screwed from day one.”

“Well, yeah. Like I’ve been saying, this thing was a ticking time bomb to begin with.”

“You were supposed to disagree with me,” I said.

“Why would I do that?”

“Because I like him,” I whined.

Kamala’s eyebrows popped up. “You’re finally admitting that out loud. To me. What about Chad?”

“My brain liked him.”

“Your brain is the worst,” she said.

“It really is.”

She slid open the glass door of the display case, picked out a big chocolate chip cookie, placed it on a napkin, and handed it to me.

“I’mthispathetic?”

“Yes, eat away your sorrows.”