Page 60 of Boomerville at Ballymegille

Jo loosened the belt on her dress and Hattie kicked off her shoes.

‘I shouldn’t have had that extra slice of quiche at lunch.’ Hattie fiddled with the edge of her miracle pants, trying to ease flesh back into the constricting elastane. ‘This is the most unforgiving garment I’ve ever worn.’

‘Take it off,’ Jo said as she watched Hattie writhe in pain, ‘before you crack a rib.’

‘Aye, that’s a good idea,’ Hattie stood and, thrusting her hands under the hem of her dress, she hooked the offending pants with her thumbs and began to tug.

‘Be quick,’ Jo sat up. ‘Willie’s back and the bus is spilling everyone out.’

Willie’s Wheels had ground to a halt at the front of the manor and the first to be seen were Audrey and the Babes, clutching carrier bags.

‘Yoo, hoo!’ Audrey called out and she headed their way.

‘Shite,’ Hattie hissed as she pulled at the pants. But the shapewear was refusing to budge and having ridden to her thighs and gone no further, Hattie’s hands were stuck. Teetering about on one foot, she suddenly fell to the floor.

‘Oh heck!’ Jo exclaimed and seeing Alf and Harry coming towards them, leapt to her feet and attempted to help.

‘You’re making it worse!’ Hattie tried to stand but her legs were stuck, and rolling onto her tummy, she shuffled to the side of the tree.

‘Glorious day,’ Audrey said as she reached the bench. ‘I say, is everything alright?’ She stared at the prostrate form on the floor.

‘Hattie’s got her support pants stuck and there are men approaching.’

‘Understood.’ Audrey dropped her bags. ‘Mayday, ladies!’ She waved her hands and pointed to Hattie, who was now purple in the face and cursing.

In moments, the Babes had formed a human shield, removed Hattie’s pants and pulled her back to her feet.

‘Crisis averted,’ Audrey said, retrieving her shopping as Hattie folded her pants, hid them beneath her, and flopped down on the bench.

‘Have you bought anything nice?’ Jo asked.

‘Just a few finishing touches for our outfits for the big day tomorrow. What’s the drill for this afternoon?’

‘I’d hoped that you might dress the stage and marquees?’

‘What in?’ Audrey looked puzzled.

‘If you borrow some secateurs from Declan, you’ll find lots of greenery in the garden and perhaps you could drape it artistically?’

‘Ah, gotcha.’ Audrey nodded. ‘Most of the gals create arrangements in the church back home, consider it done.’ She turned to the Babes. ‘Pronto! We have a mission.’

Jo watched them head off. She hoped that there’d be something left of the garden after the floral team had finished snipping.

‘Be it on your own head,’ Hattie said, as if reading Jo’s mind. ‘Look out, it’s the Three Musketeers.’ Hattie stared as Alf, Harry and Bill appeared. ‘Where’s Willie?’

‘Polishing his pistons,’ Harry said. ‘They’ve been playing up today.’

‘Did you enjoy your trip to Kindale?’ Jo asked.

‘Aye,’ said Alf, ‘’tis a grand place. There’s a pretty little harbour with fishing boats and yachts, galleries, shops and plenty of pubs too.’

Hattie eyed the logo on Harry’s T-shirt. ‘You can’t possibly expect anyone to want a hug with you in that state?’

Harry looked hot and sweaty. ‘You’d be surprised.’ Harry smiled. ‘The Irish lasses are very friendly.’

‘Or blind,’ Hattie said. She turned to Bill. ‘A letter came for you today, by courier. It’s in reception. I signed for it.’

‘Thank you,’ Bill replied, ‘it’s from my solicitor. I asked him to do a report on my house, as I’ve been away for so long.’