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“I can’t be purified,” I said hotly. “I’m too wicked. I’ve sinned against the Allfather too much to be forgiven. Don’t bother.”

I could hear Rhyder’s heavy breathing. “I have been faithful,” he said harshly. “The Allfather will see that you living among the Unsaved wasmyfault, not yours.I’mto blame. He could not be mad at you.”

I felt speechless in the face of my twin’s unshakeable beliefs, and he growled at me. “Now get your ass in the shower, sister. Unless you want me to strip you and throw you in.”

I backed away hastily. “You wouldn’t dare,” I squeaked.

Rhyder stepped toward me. “You’re mine,” he said with awful finality. “You should have been mine the moment you turned 20, only the Gray One took you from me. But the Allfather has been good. He has given me the blessing he has always intended for me.You. Now get your godsdamn ass in the shower. Please.”

I turned and scuttled away, closing the door behind me, and I undressed with trembling fingers. This door seemed like such a flimsy protection against my brother.

But whatwouldprotect me against him?

I’d have to hope something would happen between now and the time we got to the Silver River that signaled the border to our Congregation’s lands. But that was only a few days’ journey.

The water was fucking freezing, and I let out a few choice curses, just to hopefully piss Rhyder off. But he said nothing.

I felt nervous at his silence, and quickly soaped off, feeling chilled in the water, then washed my long dark hair, disappointed that Rhyder hadn’t chastised my swearing.

But my inflexible zealot brother had always had one enormous impenetrable blind spot.

Me.

He was absolutely pig-headed and determinedly blind to any of my wrongs, and I had more than once gotten out of punishments with my parents after Rhyder had argued, his voice throbbing with suppressed blood, that he was responsible for all of it, that it was his fault, onhishead should fall the punishment.

When he appeared over the low partition, I was afraid he would push his way in and try to shower with me, but he only watched, holding a towel in his hand. Although it was made of scratchy bark-colored material, it seemed to dry me well enough.

I cringed at the idea of putting my filthy red party dress back on, but I didn’t have any other option.

That dress had belonged to a different girl.

Still shivering, I was moving to my hair, when he took the towel in his hand and began to carefully dry the long wet strands off.

“I will cover you with my blood, sister,” Rhyder said.

“Get away from me,” I cried, jerking out of his grip, but his hand shot out and grabbed my arm, pulling me back. My brother’s fingers were like a vice grip.

“This is necessary,” he growled. “Why do you have to fight me on everything, sister? I only want to help you.”

“Then let me go!” I whimpered, not caring who heard us. “Let me go back!”

“Never,” he said, and his blue eyes were darkened with his suppressed passions. He yanked my towel off so I was standing naked before him.

I screamed and turned, but there was nowhere to go.

My legs twisted together, trying to keep him from looking at me.

Rhyder had me boxed into the corner, and I put my sweaty palms back on the rough wood of the Holy Place to give me some leverage to push off and attack him, but he moved before I had a chance to.

Above my astonished eyes, he brought his sharp knife out and opened his wrists over my head, with a reckless, violent slash at first one arm and then the other.

I was struck speechless as his blood began to flow all over my freshly washed hair and body, flowing so hard and fast the drops rained like liquid depravity down my face.

I wanted to dart away, but there was nowhere to go, never any escape from Rhyder.

Covered by my bloodhe began to sing

Allfather take my blood