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Please forgive my abrupt departure. I’m not sure when I’ll be back, but I trust that, in the meantime, you’ll know what to do.

You always do, and now your time to shine has arrived, my darling.

I now, under the powers vested in me as Duchess Paramount, entrust you, Reginald Morrigan, to rule indefinitely in my stead over the province of Cerulia.

Love,

Winnow Ardelean

P.S. Please don’t hate me.

WINNOW

BELLORUM REALM

Closed for the foreseeable future.

Jubilant travels!

- Ginny Codswallow

of Ginny’s Portal Agency

Frustration and despair quickly simmer to a boil in my chest, manifesting in fat, swollen tears.Why couldn’t I have been blessed with portal magic?

With cupped hands, I try to peer into the portal agent’s shop. All the lights are off, and sheets are pulled over desks and counters.“Nooooo, gods-be-damned!”

I take a few steps back to stare up at the yellow-and-white dollhouse-like home above. Carved wooden archways and vines trail up lattices toward an illuminated window where I see a half-nude silhouette of Ginny herself with her hair loosely piled high atop her head. The window is open so that I can hear her tinkle of laughter as she brings a delicate hand to her mouth. The sight draws an envious whimper from my chest.

She looks so happy.

Just as I’m about to shout and beg her to come down, a towering, green, tusked male steps in front of her and sweeps her off her feet. She gives a squeal of delight, followed by another peal of laughter that seems to echo through the utterly barren chasm that is my chest, causing my tears to spill over.

Well then, go right ahead and poke me in my fucking eyes, why don’t you?

And just when I think the universe couldn’t possibly make a greater mockery of me,anothermale steps in beside them, capturing her mouth with his as their moans of pleasure fill the air.

My lips and chin quiver beneath the weight of my sorrow, and the final crack in my trembling facade is whenyet anothermale appears, grasping her hair to steal her mouth for himself.

At that, my chin tips toward the skies, and I begin to ugly-cry.

And I don’t care who hears it.

Though Ginny and her many lovers are, apparently, deaf because they don’t even bat an eye in my direction.

Eventually, I manage to pry my eyes away from the porno taking place before me, gradually drifting to the cobblestones beneath the hem of my dress. Thunder rumbles overhead as my tears continue to spill, and the heavens open up for the skies to weep alongside me.

Ginny’s window squeaks shutafterI hear one of the handsome orc’s gravelly voices.

“Love, we’re going to pin you to the fucking bed with our cocks, and fill every single one of your pretty little pink holes with our seed.”

Such a sad affair, the realization of everything you didn’t even know you were missing. Never in my life have I experienced such unbridled passion, neither given nor received. Nor have I ever experienced such love and comfort from another as Ginny so clearly is now.

Surely, if Ginny can findthreedoting males, I can findone.

Some inane voice in the back of my mind decides to chirp in, and so my internal argument begins.

You have responsibilities here.