Page 35

“But only barely.” Kace’s voice was nothing but a breathy exhale. A whisper, one that could be lost to the darkness. In the distance, another monster released an ear-shattering roar before immediately cutting off.

A deafening silence permeated the air like a thick storm cloud hovering over us all.

“What will we come back to?” Tanner whispered, swallowing. “I mean, if we make it out of this mess alive…what will we even come back to? Lives where no one cares about us? Pain and suffering? Bodies that we’re trapped in?”

“Fuck, man,” Aiden murmured, shaking his head from side to side.

“I’m serious.” Tanner turned his pained eyes my way. “I have these…these dreams that I’m beginning to think are actually memories.”

“What are they about?” I asked, though a part of me didn’t want to know.

He squeezed his eyes shut, his long lashes pressed tight against his high cheekbones, before reopening them and piercing me with his ocean-blue stare. “Burning,” he whispered hoarsely. “I have memories of myself being burned alive. And…and I don’t know if I want to go back to that. If I want to go back to a body that’s—”

“Hey.” Before I could stop myself, I crawled across the circle and captured his cheeks with both of my palms. “Youwillget back, and youwillsurvive whatever this fucked-up world has thrown at you.”

“What if it’s not worth it?” he whispered, a single tear sliding down his cheek. “What if all of this is not worth it?”

“It will be,” I promised, though I wasn’t quite sure if I believed it myself.

“What if we don’t remember each other?” Kace piped up, a forlorn expression pulling down his lips. “I mean, I don’t remember you guys in my memories, so I’m beginning to believe that—”

“We will,” I interrupted. “I’ll make sure of that.”

I had no idea how I would, but I was more determined than ever. If I had to drag these men out of here by their hair, then so help me God, that was what I would do. I refused to be alive in a world that didn’t have them in it. We’d come so far together, and trauma like this only brought people closer together. They were a part of me—all of them, even Maria, Kelly, Travis, Brett, Caleb, and Sev. They saw my monster take flesh and supported me while I fought it off. And I imagined we would grow even closer with every circle we completed, every beast we fought, every soul we lost.

“My sister won’t be alive.” I barely heard Aiden, his voice so quiet, I wasn’t sure he meant for anyone to hear.

I glanced over my shoulder, and our shared grief was a tangible thing, shrouding us all in a darkness so pronounced, it rivaled the one surrounding us.

“Aiden…”

“I’m not saying I’m giving up.” His tone was caustic, almost bitter, and his eyes were thin slits. “But…”

“But it begs the question… What are we coming home to?” Kace finished for him.

Silence descended as we all stared at one another, all of us at a loss for words. In the short time I’d known them, these men had come to mean something to me. Even Aiden, with his acerbic wit and narrow-eyed glares.

But Kace was right. What were we coming home to?

And was this entire journey even worth it?