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Cass contemplated that. The one thing she knew for certain was how private Rebecca was about her alter ego. For her to be troubled enough to forget must mean this really was bothering her just as much.

“What did she say?” Cass asked. “I mean about what you, um, want?”

“Need,” Rebecca corrected softly. “Oddly enough, she said I was normal. Relatively speaking. And, not because she’s my relative.”

Cass’s lips twitched at Rebecca’s little joke. Their time together had brought out different sides of their personalities. That included a more lighthearted approach to things. Even when those things were heavy. That was definitely Cass’s influence.

“My first sexual experience,” Rebecca continued, “was filled with pain. Each subsequent time, the pain got worse. According to Aunt Wills, it’s not uncommon for victims of prolonged abuse to… crave something they had become accustomed to.”

Cass was no shrink, and that definitely sounded like something Rebecca’s aunt would say. Since Aunt Wills had the shrink degree, who was Cass to argue? “That sounds, um, logical, I guess. But you sound a bit doubtful.”

Rebecca shrugged. “I still think I’m crazy.”

Cass took Rebecca’s hand and felt it tremble slightly. “You’re not crazy, baby. But, why now? You’ve been a Dom all these years, why would you want to give up your control now?”

“Because I met you,” Rebecca answered honestly.

“I don’t understand.”

“I spent years building defenses against ever having to go through what Samantha put me through again. Finding you, loving and trusting you, has allowed my body to let go of those defenses.” Rebecca took a breath and then dove in with the whole truth. “The other night out on the couch? When you fucked me right after I came? I felt that pain again, but in the way, it was supposed to be all those years ago. Exquisite pleasurable pain. I’m guessing that’s what woke up those desires.”

Cass was torn between feeling pride and panicked. It was a good thing, no a remarkable thing, to be trusted so much. But the weight of the responsibility of not traumatizing her girlfriend anymore than she already is was hefty.

“I don’t know if I can hurt you, baby.”

“Cassidy, the reason I can ask this of you is because I know you will never do anything that I can’t handle. I know that what you do to me will be out of love and not because you want to control or possess me. I’m not asking you to mark me. I’m asking you to help me in the only way you can.”

“Can you understand my hesitation, Rebecca? I’ve seen your scars. I’ve been there when you’ve woken up in a cold sweat after a nightmare.”

Rebecca touched Cassidy’s worried face. “Then exorcise my demons, baby. Take away the fear.”

Cass closed her eyes and silently prayed she was doing the right thing. She would do anything for Rebecca, and if this is what she needed, Cass would do her best not to break both of them.

“What’s your favorite word, Rebecca?”

Rebecca grinned at the salute to their beginning. “Cassidy.”

The tall woman chuckled. “You’re going to have to pick another word. I’m going to make you scream my name all night long.”

Laughter filled the air. “Fine, how about platypus? It’s such a fun word to say.”

“Right!?” Cass stood and held her hand out to Rebecca. They held hands as they made their way to the bedroom. Cass had very little time to figure out how to be what Rebecca needed. She was semi-confident that once they got the awkward beginning out of the way, things would come naturally. And that was one thing Cass was very good at. Making Rebecca come naturally.

“Take your clothes off, Rebecca.”

The words triggered a bout of anxiety in Rebecca that she wasn’t prepared for. “Um, whew. Could you do me a favor?”

“Of course.”

“Could you still call me baby?”

“She said that to you, didn’t she?” Cass asked gently, and Rebecca nodded. “I should have…”

“No, not your fault,” Rebecca interrupted. “I also have a couple of hard limits.”

“Hard limits?”

“Boundaries,” Rebecca explained. “Things that I absolutely can’t do.”