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Palmer met her eyes, gave her a soft smile and a nod, and then opened the door. Several minutes later, she was still wearing her jeans and sweatshirt as she re-entered Elizabeth’s bedroom. She reached for the pajamas Elizabeth had placed on the corner of her own bed, disappeared for a moment, and then returned changed for the night.

“This is what you meant, right?” Palmer asked.

“Yes,” Elizabeth said.

She’d already slid under the blanket. When Palmer did as well, on her own side of the bed, Elizabeth thought about moving closer to the edge of the bed to give Palmer as much space as possible, but she didn’t. She stayed where she was, staring up at her ceiling as if a beautiful, smart, kind, and amazing woman wasn’t lying in her bed next to her.

“Good night, Palmer,” Elizabeth said after several moments of awkward silence became too much.

“Good night, Lizzy,” Palmer replied.

Then, Elizabeth reached for the switch, turning off the bedside table. Minutes later, she closed her eyes. Hours later, she woke up, finding her body wrapped around Palmer’s and not moving an inch for fear she’d wake the sleeping woman, and this rare moment of bliss would be gone.

CHAPTER 22

Palmer sat on the sofa, adding to her own, personal piece on meeting a Queen. It was good for her. She needed to be able to document her feelings for Elizabeth in what she’d probably refer back to when she was old and gray, living alone with her three cats and reminiscing on the time she went on a vacation and ended up falling in love with a woman she could never have.

She’d never been one to believe a person could fall so fast. In her previous relationships, it had taken some time before she’d been able to see what she felt for what it was; love. Anna was the fastest, but Anna had said it first, and Palmer had said it back before she’d even thought about whether or not she actually felt it. She did. She had felt it. But saying it was what made her understand that was what those feelings were. And look how that had turned out.

Now, it had been a few weeks with a woman, and Palmer was ready to call it love? No, that wasn’t right. It was probably a crush or infatuation. Elizabeth was a gorgeous woman. Maybe it was just lust. Palmer hadn’t been with anyone since Anna, and toward the end of their relationship, they hadn’t been having sex at all. She probably just needed to get laid. She’d go home in a few days and maybe get on one of those apps or something and have some fun like every other person her age seemed to be doing these days.

She looked up from her laptop, staring at the book on the shelf where she’d found a picture and a message. She hadn’t said anything to Elizabeth. She didn’t want her to think she’d been snooping through her stuff. Elizabeth had enough going on. She didn’t need to add Palmer invading her privacy to the list. Still, though, as she stared, she wondered about that message. She closed her laptop after saving her work, stood up, and placed more wood on the fire. Then, she forced herself to go into the kitchen and make a snack instead of going to the bookshelf, which was what she really wanted to do. Having made and eaten a sandwich and coffee, Palmer had no more reasons to hole up in the kitchen, so she returned to the living room and stared at the books again. She made her way over and reviewed the titles again. Most of the books were academic in nature, but there was a small section on the very bottom shelf that looked more fiction than fact. Palmer sat on the floor and pulled out all seven of the books. She stared at the title of the first one.

“The Love I Never Had?” she read out loud to herself.

She opened to the first page, and finding no photo or other items contained inside and no message, she dropped it to the floor and reached for the second book in the pile. This one was calledSeeing Her. While there was again, nothing inside and no message, as Palmer flipped through it quickly, she noticed there was writing inside the book itself. Making her way back to chapter one, she flipped until she found words underlined.

“She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. And no matter how many times I tell her, she never believes me,”Palmer read out loud again.

She continued flipping, finding dialogue between characters, sentences and, sometimes, whole paragraphs underlined in black pen. Other times, the color of the ink was blue, though, and the lines were darker, as if the person who’d placed them there had pressed harder into the pages.

“I loved her in a way no one else ever would, and I see her in a way no one else ever can because of that love,”Palmer read to herself.

That was the last piece of underlined text. Palmer moved back to the first book to see if she’d missed something, and she had. There were several more sections underlined in two different-color inks.

“You make me feel like I can do anything; BE anything I want.”

Palmer moved on to the third book and then the fourth and fifth. By the time she got to the sixth book, she looked up to see she’d been sitting on the floor for a couple of hours now. She needed to get ready for her dinner with Elizabeth. She re-placed all the books in the exact spots she found them, but as she took a shower, she couldn’t help but think about the picture of Elizabeth and Teagan and the books. It was clear to Palmer what it all meant, but she’d thought it before and had dismissed it as wishful thinking on her part. Elizabeth wasn’t gay. She and Teagan had been best friends; closer, likely, than her and Victoria because they’d been the same age and had grown up together even before Teagan had married Alexander.

Palmer dried her hair with the old blow-dryer that looked like it had been through a war, and for some reason, that only made her love Elizabeth more. The woman was a Princess when she’d lived here. She could have bought a million hair dryers, probably, but she used one she had for years. It was endearing, but Palmer needed to stop thinking about the words ‘love’ and ‘Elizabeth’ going together. She needed to not use the word ‘endearing’ when describing her. Even if Elizabeth and Teaganhadbeen together before Teagan had married Elizabeth’s brother, Palmer didn’t stand a chance. She was leaving for New York after the coronation. Elizabeth was Queen of a country. Whatever Palmer was feeling would dissipate when she got home, back to her normal and anything-but-royal everyday life.

???

“Hi,” Elizabeth greeted, smiling at her, and that smile nearly broke Palmer.

“Hey,” she replied, pushing down her desire to reach out for the woman standing in front of her.

Elizabeth was wearing a very flattering green dress with matching short heels. Her hair was down, framing her face in loose curls. Her face wasn’t bare, but the makeup was light and highlighted her beautiful features. This look wasnothelping Palmer’s feelings in the slightest.

“You look nice,” Palmer added.

“You do too,” Elizabeth replied.

“I’m wearing a pair of jeans and the nicest shirt I brought with me.”

“I’m only wearingthisbecause I’m still in my work clothes, so to speak. I plan on changing if that’s okay with you.”

“Why? You look great,” Palmer blurted out before she could stop herself.