Page 71 of Apples Dipped in Gold
“Samara,” he whispered, pleading. “What happened last night cannot happen again. This love I have for you, it is a curse.”
I knew I was Lore’s enchantress, the source of his suffering, his so-called curse, but I thought after last night, he would realize the truth—he had never been cursed at all.
“You think what you feel for me isn’t real?” I asked.
He just stared at me.
“You don’t want to say, do you? Because the curse doesn’t make sense if the feelings are real.”
“I know you want things to be different,” he said. “But I have told you the truth from the start.”
I shook my head in disbelief and then rose to my feet. I crossed the room to change, pulling off his tunic as I went and tossing it to the ground. I slipped into my dress, turning to him as I tied the laces at the back.
“I pity you, Lore of Nightshade,” I said. “Everyone in your life who was ever supposed to love you abandoned you, but it has made you so afraid of love, you cannot even recognize it when it’s true.”
If he wanted to continue this journey, then I would do that just to prove him wrong. I would waste a wish on a curse he had conjured in his mind to protect his heart. I would do it because I loved him, because despite how much this hurt, I wanted him.
* * *
We left the little shed behind not long after our fight.
I followed the fox into the forest while Lore lingered behind. There was a strange tension between us. It was nothing like I’d experienced before—not exactly angry, not exactly desire. For my part, it was a buildup of all the things I wanted to say but knew he would not hear.
I realized our beginning was full of horror, that for seven years, he had thought I had rejected him in the most violent way and assumed his love was not returned, but I had suffered as he had suffered. There were times when I too thought I was cursed.
But I knew deception. I had lived with it daily since the deaths of my mother and father, and this was not it.
“What troubles you, wild one?” asked the fox.
I did not answer for a few seconds as we made our way over the slippery ground. There was a fine mist in the air that kept everything wet, but it was nothing compared to the icy rain from yesterday.
“Lore prefers to think he is cursed rather than accept that his love for me is real,” I said.
“That is the nature of curses,” said the fox.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Anything can be real if you believe hard enough,” said fox.
I didn’t like the fox’s words. “So you are on his side?”
“I am on no one’s side, wild one,” he replied. “But it will take more than just your love to break Lore’s belief. It is not just that he believes he is cursed. He believes he is unworthy of love.”
My throat felt tight as a wave of emotion crashed through me. I had forgotten, but the memories returned now.
Who says you are unworthy? I had asked.
He had frowned as if he did not understand my question, as if it was a universal truth that the Prince of Nightshade was not deserving.
No one must say it for it to be true, he had replied.
“How do I make him feel worthy?” I asked.
“You cannot make anyone feel anything,” said the fox.
“You are most unhelpful,” I said.
“Why do you love Lore?” the fox asked instead.
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