Page 62 of Angelic Vengeance

Unfamiliar exhaustion took over me, feeling a lot like defeat – something I was not familiar with. I shook my head as my mouth turned into a disappointed smile. “You’re seriously gonna stand there and act like you’re not mine?”

And there it was. An ounce of emotion behind those heartless, forest-green eyes. A flicker of doubt. A spark of regret. A flash of pain.

It was enough to convince me this wasn’t the end. I would fight for us again. Even if she didn’t understand what I was even fighting for, to begin with.

Her voice was unemotional and robotic. “You are not my boyfriend. I owe you nothing.”

Ignoring the sharp pain in my chest, I calmly walked out of her bedroom and headed to the living room to get my shirt. Despite controlling my movements that far, I couldn’t stop myself from slamming the door on the way out.

The front door shut with a bang, yet the thumping in my chest blasted.

Bu-bum. Bu-bum. Bu-bum.

Blood roared in my ears and my chest contracted painfully. The heaviness which had dissipated in the last few days returned, ten-times-fold.

I forced myself to take deep breaths but it didn’t seem to help. I gasped for air. A shiver rolled through me. My vision blurred.

Get it together already.

I powered through making my way into the bathroom, barely managing to take my clothes off without falling. Out of habit, I was able to turn the shower on, and the smallest comfort wrapped around me when the hot water hit me. After a mere second, the feeling turned sour as my brain compared it to Zach’s warmer, more comforting embrace.

Anxiety and stress wired all throughout me as memories of the past infested my brain like venom.

I quickly grabbed my exfoliating loofa and covered it in soap before beginning to rub my body. The longer I scrubbed, the more the bodywash going down the drain looked like bright-red, fresh blood. I watched the fabric burn my skin until it turned pink but I still didn’t feel clean; I never did. I blinked when my vision blurred, and suddenly bruises covered my body again. No matter how many hours I wasted in the shower, I could never wash the pain off.

I couldn’t stop my legs from giving out as I leaned against the wall defeated. Slowly, I slid down. When I hit the floor, I hugged my knees to my chest. And then I did something I hadn’t done in over ten years.

I cried.

Until my lungs burned and my eyes were puffy.

Until the grief of a life I never had left my mind, and the pain washed over my body, and all there was behind was calming numbness.

Until I finally let go.

Of everything.

It’d been sixteen hours, forty-seven minutes, and a shitload of seconds since I’d stormed out of Maria’s apartment.

Sixteen fucking hours and forty-seven goddamned minutes of pure torture.

Trying to stay away from her was like trying not to breathe; it was inevitable.

She was everywhere.

I could smell her perfume on my clothes. Could feel her soft skin on mine and her pretty nails in my hair. I could still taste her on my tongue.

I rolled my shoulders to try push away the obsessive thoughts filling my body.

Make her want you. Make herneedyou.

She thought I was insane for shooting that guy at Francesca’s party. Wait till she learned what I did to the fucker who pushed her into the East River.

She was driving me crazy, and the only thing bothering me was that I couldn’t show her just how fucking crazy I was yet.

My palm itched to grab my car keys and drive to see her. To grab her hair and kiss her until she was begging me to fuck her. If she didn’t want to admit she was mine, I’d fucking make her.

But she was nowhere near as deep in this as I was.