Page 37
Story: Always on My Mind
Despite feeling as if Billie had slapped her, Tessa followed Billie’s lead into the sitting room, where an array of junk food waited for them in a spread on the coffee table. Popcorn, crisps, biscuits, and more tempted them as they took their seats on thefloor. Billie picked up a chocolate chip and popped it into her mouth.
“I don’t mean to sound like a bitch,” she said after chewing. “But you’ve always said you wanted to be with someone who was out already, especially after Jamie.”
“I know,” Tessa replied, more defensively than she meant to sound. “I just think, since we’re soulmates and all, I should give it another go.”
Billie stopped mid-sip of her drink and blinked. “But that puts you right back where you were three years ago.”
“Come on, Bills. It is different. Jamie never would have seen a therapist before, and now she is. That has to count for something.”
Tessa could hardly believe what she was saying. Days ago, she had made the same arguments Billie made now, instead to Jamie’s face. Throughout those days, though, Tessa had been thinking. And she’d concluded that therapy was progress. Tessa had recommended it to Jamie countless times when they were together, and Jamie always said she couldn’t. She couldn’t trust a therapist not to betray her to her father. If she could come around on that, maybe it would be possible. Against her better judgment, Tessa allowed herself to hope.
“I’m not saying that’s not a good thing,” Billie said. “But if Jamie is working on herself, she shouldn’t be with anyone right now. Especially given all your history.”
Tessa frowned, reaching for the popcorn. “Damn you and your logic.”
Billie smirked. “Tempting as that locker room kiss must have been, it was only a moment of weakness for you both.”
Tessa chewed her popcorn and considered it. It was true, Jamie has weakened her resolve. One brush of the lips and centuries of longing flooded through her bloodstream. But Tessa couldn’t bring herself to regret it.
“Maybe it was,” she admitted. “But also, moments of closeness might be necessary to get her to finally see our past lives. Now that she’s making herself vulnerable, it could come to her.”
“I’m not sure vulnerability is the key. I was as closed off as anyone, and just touching Ethan gave me flashes of our life in the forties.”
“Will you let me have anything?”
“Sorry, Tess, it’s. . . . . . I don’t want you to get your hopes up only to have Jamie hurt you again.”
Tessa turned her eyes away from Billie’s earnest expression and toyed with the string on her pajama pants. “I broke up with her, remember?”
“Because you’d reached your limit,” Billie reminded her. “And it nearly destroyed you.”
Tessa had no argument there. After she broke up with Jamie, she didn’t leave her bed for days. And then when she did, she was out at all hours, going to clubs and kissing anyone who was willing to kiss her back, having dangerous amounts of casual sex, and narrowly avoiding alcoholism. Anything to numb the hurt. It was Billie who pulled her out of it all and got her into therapy. Tessa realized she could not ask that of her best friend again. Not when there would soon be a child who needed her more.
“I won’t be that way again, Bills,” Tessa said. “I promise.”
Billie reached over the table and took Tessa’s hand. “You know I’m here for you if you fall apart. But it hurt me to see you in that amount of pain.”
“I know.” Tessa squeezed her hand. She never knew how to thank Billie properly for all that. She wasn’t sure she would ever have the words. “You’re gonna be a good mum.”
Billie grinned. “I hope so. And Baby Knight will have the best Auntie Tessa.”
“They’re going to have a real auntie in your sister,” Tessa reminded her.
“They’re going to have a real auntie in you too,” Billie argued. “You are as much my sister as Stevie.”
Tessa cleared her throat to get rid of the lump in it. “Have you thought of any names yet?”
“Hardly,” Billie said through a chuckle. “We’ve decided to wait until we know the sex.”
“But surely you’ve got one or two in mind—”
“Stop trying to distract me by talking about the baby,” Billie warned.
Tessa scoffed indignantly. It was the only way to mask that Billie was right. “I am wounded, Billie Knight, that you would think I’d use your child, your precious wain, who I am prepared to love as my own—” She stopped herself at Billie’s raised eyebrow. “Alright, fine, we can talk about me and Jamie.”
“Good. Because my next question is, which past life did you see when you kissed her?”
“It was the first one, when we were on our way to Jamestown,” Tessa said. “I wonder if she saw it too. Something tells me she did.”
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37 (Reading here)
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105