Page 55
Story: Always Murder
“Yeah, I talked to her about that.It’s not her fault.Whatever happened last night—” I stopped myself.
“Whatdidhappen last night?”Fox asked.
I told them about finding Paul and Millie’s report of seeing someone in a Santa suit.
“Why were you following her?”Indira asked.
So, I told them about Paul’s social media.
“You think Millie stole those packages?”Fox said.“Millie wouldn’t steal a stick of gum.”
“No, I don’t think Millie did.But I thought someone in the Naught family might be responsible.I was going over there to talk to them, and then Millie came out, and she was acting so suspiciously…I don’t know, I wanted to see what was happening.”
“Youthoughtsomeone in the family was stealing those packages?Or you still think that?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure.It didn’t come up when I was talking to the sheriff last night, but—” I stopped, took a bite of bread, and chewed slowly.After I’d swallowed, I said, “Is it crazy to think it might be Ryan?”
“Yes,” Fox said.
Indira’s expression, though, became thoughtful.
“I like the Naught boys as much as anyone,” Fox said.“They’re big kids—all they want to do is play, and once you get past their manic energy, they’re sweethearts.”
“In that case, you probably like themmorethan most people,” I said.“I saw them fight over a Happy Meal once.”
“They’re definitely not burdened with a lot of higher-order thinking,” Fox said.“And what you’re describing—watching Paul’s live streams to learn about valuable packages, then stealing the packages, and then tracking down Paul and attacking him to cover it all up—it’s way too complicated for Ryan.”
“Okay, that was my thought too,” I said.“But then, last night, Paul was still kind of conscious when we found him, and he was trying to tell Millie something like, ‘We were wrestling.’That sounds like he got confused, but he remembered Ryan.”
“It sounds like he got smashed on the head,” Fox said.“That boy was out of his gourd; he could have said he was Princess Diana.”
I looked at Indira.
She still wore that distant look, but she shook her head.“I don’t know.It’s hard to imagine Ryan doing it.”She hesitated, and then she said, “The sisters, on the other hand.”
“Oh my God,” I said.“I didn’t even think about the sisters.”
“Because of your internalized misogyny,” Fox said.
“I’m not a misogynist!”
“Oh, then it’s just because you’re a bad detective.”
I stared at them.Agape.
“Don’t tease him,” Indira told Fox.“He had a hard night.”
“Plus he’s got the yips,” Fox told Indira.“That’s why he hasn’t solved a mystery in so long.Couldn’t even find the ice cream.”
“There wasn’t any—it was ten o’clock—it hasn’t even been two months!”I finally managed to sputter my way to “And why doesn’t anybody give Bobby trouble about not solving a murder?”
“Because Bobby doesn’t sit around all day picking lint off his underwear.”
“That was one time!And I was trying to decide if I could save them!”
“All right,” Indira said.“Fox, would you take these out to the van?”
Fox was grinning as they grabbed the tray of bread and headed for the door.Their vinyl-alligator-skin-cape-thingy-slash-trench-coat made alotof crinkling noises as they left.
“Whatdidhappen last night?”Fox asked.
I told them about finding Paul and Millie’s report of seeing someone in a Santa suit.
“Why were you following her?”Indira asked.
So, I told them about Paul’s social media.
“You think Millie stole those packages?”Fox said.“Millie wouldn’t steal a stick of gum.”
“No, I don’t think Millie did.But I thought someone in the Naught family might be responsible.I was going over there to talk to them, and then Millie came out, and she was acting so suspiciously…I don’t know, I wanted to see what was happening.”
“Youthoughtsomeone in the family was stealing those packages?Or you still think that?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure.It didn’t come up when I was talking to the sheriff last night, but—” I stopped, took a bite of bread, and chewed slowly.After I’d swallowed, I said, “Is it crazy to think it might be Ryan?”
“Yes,” Fox said.
Indira’s expression, though, became thoughtful.
“I like the Naught boys as much as anyone,” Fox said.“They’re big kids—all they want to do is play, and once you get past their manic energy, they’re sweethearts.”
“In that case, you probably like themmorethan most people,” I said.“I saw them fight over a Happy Meal once.”
“They’re definitely not burdened with a lot of higher-order thinking,” Fox said.“And what you’re describing—watching Paul’s live streams to learn about valuable packages, then stealing the packages, and then tracking down Paul and attacking him to cover it all up—it’s way too complicated for Ryan.”
“Okay, that was my thought too,” I said.“But then, last night, Paul was still kind of conscious when we found him, and he was trying to tell Millie something like, ‘We were wrestling.’That sounds like he got confused, but he remembered Ryan.”
“It sounds like he got smashed on the head,” Fox said.“That boy was out of his gourd; he could have said he was Princess Diana.”
I looked at Indira.
She still wore that distant look, but she shook her head.“I don’t know.It’s hard to imagine Ryan doing it.”She hesitated, and then she said, “The sisters, on the other hand.”
“Oh my God,” I said.“I didn’t even think about the sisters.”
“Because of your internalized misogyny,” Fox said.
“I’m not a misogynist!”
“Oh, then it’s just because you’re a bad detective.”
I stared at them.Agape.
“Don’t tease him,” Indira told Fox.“He had a hard night.”
“Plus he’s got the yips,” Fox told Indira.“That’s why he hasn’t solved a mystery in so long.Couldn’t even find the ice cream.”
“There wasn’t any—it was ten o’clock—it hasn’t even been two months!”I finally managed to sputter my way to “And why doesn’t anybody give Bobby trouble about not solving a murder?”
“Because Bobby doesn’t sit around all day picking lint off his underwear.”
“That was one time!And I was trying to decide if I could save them!”
“All right,” Indira said.“Fox, would you take these out to the van?”
Fox was grinning as they grabbed the tray of bread and headed for the door.Their vinyl-alligator-skin-cape-thingy-slash-trench-coat made alotof crinkling noises as they left.
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