Page 94

Theywillcome after me, right?

It’s silly to think Captain Aelon and his triad would let me go. I remember Iunia’s words. He told me that he’d thought I was brave and capable. Those didn’t just sound like the words a man says to coax a woman into bed. I heard truth in his voice. Herespectedme.

It feltreal.

If the Aurelians don’t come after me, my problems will be solved – but, in some insane way, I’ll actually behurt. I have to hope they give up on me, but I don’twantthem to.

What is it they call that? When you have two contradictory notions that you maintain at the same time?

Cognitive dissonance?

Or love, as Sawoot once called it jokingly.

I suppose I can give my weaker instincts the edge this time. As much as I might logically pray for the triad not to pursue me, my romantic instincts win out. I know it’simpossiblefor them to let me go. I’m part of Aelon, Vinicus and Iunia’s minds now – lodged in there like a splinter.

Their location is growing fainter and fainter in my mind, but I can still feel their pain at losing their Fated Mate – and they’ll always feel my guilt at leaving them. Their grief is palpable, raw, and all-consuming.

They’ll come after me, and they’ll never stop trying to find me. I just have to get my crew far enough away to evade them...

…and I’ll have to get used to the pain from their auras.

And then, the moment I think it, the three of them suddenly wink out of my mind.

The Aurelians disappear – as if they’d never entered my consciousness in the first place.

I gasp. Something feels horribly wrong. My stomach suddenly clenches.

A surprise attack.

The Toads must have caught them off guard. When I disabled The Instigator, those Toads must have been lurking in the shadows – perhaps concealed in the gravity well of the moon, or beyond the distant asteroid field.

Gods! What if that’s true? What if the Toads saw The Instigator, after we’d temporarily crippled her, and attacked?

Aelon would have hadnodefenses. He’d have had no way of fighting off the Toads – and they’d have been able to turn The Instigator to dust as easily as you might blow a derelict hulk out of space.

My heart stops. Have I… Have I just killed the three men who wanted me so desperately?

All I’d wanted was my problems with the Bond to end – but I suppose you need to beextremelycareful what you wish for.

Now, I suppose I’ve got my wish – although in a way I’d never,everhave wanted. Now, I suppose I’ll never have to worry about craving those three gorgeous warriors ever again. I won’t ever have to worry about the triad hunting me down and holding me captive. I won’t have to run from them anymore.

I’d been worried about the three aliens having a constant presence in my mind, a constant reminder that I didn’t choose them. It would have been like a leaky faucet, dripping their anguish into my consciousness throughout the day.

But now, instead, theirabsencewill be the constant reminder – the brand burned into my soul thatIwas the reason for the deaths of Aelon, Vinicus, Iunia – and the rest of the crew of The Instigator.

Oh, Gods. I take a ragged breath. My guilt will be endless.

I practically murdered them. I might as well have!

I left The Instigator completely defenceless when Iknewthere was an enemy force hellbent on their destruction. I felt the grief of my triad, before they died. That grief wasn’t just at losing me. It was at being doomed by me.

My eyes grow wet as the evil of what I’ve just done sinks its hooks into my soul. It will never let go. I willneverforgive myself for this.

Flashing lights blink in the cockpit. Our comms-link suddenly cuts out. I hadn’t been planning on messaging anyone, anyway - but it’s a strange and sinister coincidence.

Then, my heads-up display grows fuzzy – before fading to black.

“Dammit! We picked up a faulty Reaver!” There’s always an undercurrent of fear in Theme’s voice. Some people are predators, some are prey – and it’s clear from his nature which of those Theme is.