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I shivered, remembering that ride from Cereliath to Koratha. There had been more than one night that I had contemplated ending the pain once and for all.

“How long?” I looked out the window where I could still hear the whispers of laughter from the Shades in their beds. “I can’t abandon them now.”

Riven gripped both sides of my face. “You could never abandon them. You brought them out of that place and gave them a second chance at whatever life they want,diizra. You can take three days.”

“Three days?”

Riven nodded.

I looked down at the vial in my hands. We had already broken two seals and brought every surviving Shade to the Faeland. However Damien was tallying this war, somehow we were coming out on top. And for the first time, I believed we could stay there. As long as I was as strong as I needed to be.

I turned to Riven. “Can we start tomorrow?”

Riven pressed a gentle kiss to my lips. “We can start whenever you want to.” He sat next to me on the bed and wrapped his arm around me.

“I want to speak to Nikolai, but then we can begin.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do.” Riven grabbed my chin and turned my face to his. “Keera Waateyith’thir, I am more proud to love you with every passing day.”

My heart ached at his words. I pulled myself onto his lap and wrapped my legs around him. “I am proud to love you, too.” I pressed a kiss to his lips. “I felt you there on my lowest days and I will love you through whatever lows come for you.”

Riven’s hands hardened along my waist. We both knew what his tainted powers could mean and how quickly that might come. Riven tucked a piece of hair behind the point of my ear and kissed my nose.

“Do you want to sleep here tonight?” He glanced down at the vial. “Or would you prefer to try it on your own.”

I answered by throwing us both onto the mattress. Riven chuckled but his brow was furrowed.

My throat tightened. “Is there something wrong?”

He bit his lip. “Diizra, I love you no matter what …”

I raised a brow, my grip on his collar loosening.

“But yousmell.” He grinned down at me.

I shoved him in the shoulder. “I have been at sea for ten days!”

Riven sat us both up. “Which is why I didn’t mention it until now.”

I stood and scowled down at him. He grinned until I pulled my tunic off my body and flung it at his face. His expression turned feral as I unbuttoned my trousers. I stepped toward the shower and slowly lowered them past every curve of my body.

Riven reached for me but I smacked his hand. “Since I smell so bad, I’m showeringalone.”

Riven nodded, his eyes lingering on every bouncing part of me as I disappeared into the shower. I took my time, relishing not only being clean for the first time in a fortnight, but forfeelingclean. There were no longer any secrets between me and Riven, nothing weighing me down.

When I stepped back out into the room, Riven was under the blankets with a nightgown stretched across the bed. I raised a brow. I hadn’t heard him leave.

“I had Nikolai stock my closet with some when he filled yours,” he explained with a shrug. His eyes dropped to the hem of my towel. “Though I’m regretting it now.”

I grinned at him and took my time layering the jade nightgown over my body. Riven flipped the blanket up on my side of the bed and patted the mattress. I slipped between the warm sheets and relaxed against the soft bed.

“Three drops.” Riven opened the vial and I opened my mouth. He let three thick drops fall onto my tongue, each one tasted sweet like fruit, but distinct.

“How long until it’s meant to take effect?”

Riven gave me a wicked grin. “Just long enough for me to help you fall asleep.” He lowered himself down on the mattress, so close to my body that I could feel the warmth of his breath through my gown and see the thick muscles tense along his shoulder blades.

He grabbed my knees and spread them open. He took a deep breath of my scent and licked his lips. “I have craved the taste of you every day since Wenden.”