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“I used to come here with someone I was seeing,” I say.
She looks up at me. “The one who wanted to get married?”
“Actually, no.”
I meet her eyes, praying this doesn’t change anything between us.
I’ve never talked about a past relationship on a first date, let alonetwo, but something about Lila makes me want to open up to her. Her gaze isn’t judgmental, or jealous. It’s curious, open. She wants to know me – all of me, and I find a strange feeling telling me I want that too.
“What happened?” she asks, her voice gentle.
“We were serious for a while, but… she ended up reconnecting with an ex. Told me she still loved him. And that was that.”
Her features soften. “I’m sorry.”
God, I wish I could read her mind. I wish I knew what she needed to hear.
I rub my thumb across her knee. “You really do look beautiful tonight,” I say, threading my fingers through hers.
Her smile returns, genuine and glowing.
“Thank you. So do you.”
The way she looks at me – like I’m the only man in the room – knocks the breath from my lungs.
Her lips glisten with a light pink gloss, her skin glowing with a faint shimmer in the low light. I’m desperate to kiss her again, to explore every inch of her, but I restrain myself and reach for my drink instead.
Why am I so God-damn nervous? It’s not just that it’s been over two years since I’ve been with anyone, though that’s part of it.
Is it because we work together? Normally, that’s a line I wouldn’t cross. But with her, it’s already blurred to the point of no return. And if people found out? Honestly? I don’t think I’d care.
Is it the age difference? Maybe. But with Lila, I barely notice it. She’s not like anyone I’ve ever met. She’s vibrant. Messy. Alive.Every time I see her, I feel like the world gets sharper around the edges. Brighter. Realer.
She kissed me at Sapphire. She said yes to this date. She’s into me. That much is clear. So why does it feel like I’m standing on the edge of something unknown?
What does she want? A one-night stand? A fling? Or is she looking for commitment?
Maybe it’s because I just told her about Elle – when she walked out – I don’t talk about that. I never talk about that. But when Lila asked, I answered. Like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
Like I trust that she wouldn’t do the same.
And maybe that’s what scares me the most.
All I know for certain is - I can’t stop thinking about her.
And tonight, all I can think about is getting her out of that dress and into my bed.
She swirls her straw in the glass, her lips pursed.
“Not a fan?” I ask.
She scrunches her nose, and it might just be the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.
“Not really, sorry. It’s just… really sweet.”
“No, I’m sorry. I should have asked. Let me get you something else. What’s your go-to?”
She shakes her head. “It’s okay, you don’t have to.”