Page 52

The colors of the seaside town looked almost washed out, as if the salt in the wind had diluted their hues. It didn’t matter how many times I saw the Northern California coast. There was always something that felt unknown about it, even when it was familiar. The way the waves climbed hungrily up the beach and then tore away. As if the sea was writhing with anger.

“You sure you don’t want me to come with you?” Micah said, watching me stare out at the water.

“Yeah, I’m going to do this alone.”

He nodded, catching my hand with his as he passed, and he gave it a quick squeeze before starting up the street. The gesture was so easy and warm that I was tempted not to let his fingers slip from mine.

He didn’t look back as he headed toward the beach, and I went in the opposite direction, where the string of pastel buildings climbed the hill. Josie was based in Shasta-Trinity National Forest, and according to the emails I had seen between her and Johnny, the little coffee shop in Fort Bragg was where they met every three months for a check-in.

I’d gone through the inbox again for any sign of more messages like the one I’d found, where Josie had threatened to report him to CAS. Johnny hadn’t replied to the message, and no others had followed it, making me think that things had still been strained between them when he died.

I stopped beneath the sign for Headlands Coffeehouse that hung over the sidewalk, hesitating before I pulled my phone from my backpocket. The wind blew my hair across my face as I stood there, staring at it. I wanted the truth. I wanted to know what happened to Johnny, but I hadn’t considered what else I would learn about my brother in the process. It took several seconds to convince myself to dial Autumn’s number again, and I cleared my throat while it rang, heart racing until the voicemail picked up.

“Hi, it’s Autumn! Leave a message!”

When it beeped, I tried to sound as sane and calm as possible.

“Hi, my name is James Golden, and you knew my brother, Johnny?” I grimaced at the awkward tone in my voice. “I, uh, I wanted to see if you could give me a call back.” Another pause. “I’d really appreciate it. It’s important.”

I ended the call and let out the enormous breath trapped in my lungs, trying to replace it with the cold sea air. When I glanced at the phone again, it was only two minutes until the time I was supposed to meet Josie.

I pulled open the door and stepped inside, scanning the faces until I saw one that might be her. She had a laptop open and a stack of notebooks at her side, an abandoned pot of tea on the table. Her curly auburn hair was cut short, springing up in windblown ringlets along her chin. She had a weathered look that reminded me of Amelia Travis, but she had to be around Johnny’s and my age.

I’d almost made it to the table before she noticed me, and she clumsily stood, hand extending warmly. “James?”

“Hi, yes.” I shook her hand, bristling a little at the firmness of her grip. “Nice to meet you.”

Josie waved at the man behind the register. “Brett? Can we get another?”

He answered with a nod, reaching for two fresh mugs. Josie motioned for me to sit before she closed her laptop and attempted to tidy the table. Bunched-up napkins and torn sugar packets were raked into a pile, and once she had them cradled in her palm, she stuffed them into one of the dirty mugs.

“Sorry about this.” She laughed. “I’m not used to working indoors.” She brushed off her hands, propping them up on the table. There was a beat of silence before she spoke. “I would offer my condolences, but I imagine you’re tired of those by now.”

“Yeah.” I smiled. “I am, actually.”

“Well, then I will instead tell you how grateful we are that you were willing to come up here and get your hands dirty. I speak for the whole team, honestly. We’re really down to the wire, and Johnny’s sector is an important one.”

“I’m just glad I could help. This project meant a lot to Johnny.”

She nodded. “It did. We were lucky to find someone like him, and he was very…” She searched for the word. “Dedicated.”

My eyes ran over her face, settling on her stiff smile. It felt like maybe there was a double meaning behind the word.

“Now.” She cut to the chase, just as the barista set down a fresh pot of tea between us. He took the used dishes up, leaning over the table, but Josie didn’t break eye contact with me. “How can I help? You’ve got the originals of Johnny’s logs. Are you having any trouble with the transcriptions?”

“That’s actually not why I asked to meet,” I said.

Josie’s brow wrinkled as she picked up the teapot and poured. The movement was a little stilted. “Oh, okay. What’s this about, then?”

“I’ve been in Six Rivers dealing with Johnny’s affairs—including the CAS project, of course. But I’m also just trying to get a sense of Johnny’s life. I know that probably sounds strange, but we weren’t really in touch as much as I wish we were, and I guess…” The words faltered.

“You’re trying to get closure?” she offered, gently.

“Yeah. Something like that.”

She slid the teacup toward me and the fragrant scent of bergamot curled into the air with the steam. “Okay, how can I help?”

My hands clamped together in my lap, my palms slick. “Were you and Johnny…friends?”