Page 74

“Esh, you are so stubborn,” I said, exasperated as I realized I’d used the humans’ curse word. “One minute you won’t even speak to me. Now you refuse to let me go alone.”

“You were never alone. You always had the protection of Sadie and Hector. Or I was close enough to scent you,” Grae said.

“That’s not creepy at all,” I grumbled, stepping into the foot holes Grae’s boots left in the snow.

“It’s not just about you, little fox. None of us should be alone right now. Not with the Silver Wolves searching for us.”

“Okay, fine then, you’ll come to the masquerade. You’ll stay behind the scenes.” I ducked under a heavy pine bough laden with snow. “I’ll perform and distract everyone with my glorious performance”—Grae chuckled—“and you’ll raid the royal apothecary, and then we’ll go.”

“That easy, huh?”

“Believe me, I don’t want to perform,” I muttered. “And the idea of stealing from the Queen makes my stomach hurt. But we need the poison and it’s a good ruse, better than any we’d come up with up to this point. And you should’ve seen Ora’s face.”

“I don’t care about their face.”

“I do,” I said. “They’ve been so good to us, and I don’t want to disappoint them. I’ll probably not be able to get a single note out.”

“I doubt that,” Grae said, his voice considerably softer as he ambled toward a deep bank of snow. With his sleeve, he swept the snow away, revealing a fallen tree trunk. He perched himself upon it and I joined him. Grae’s nose and cheeks were rosy from the chill, his breath coming out in a swirl of steam, but his eyes were filled with fire as he smiled at me. “Your voice is the most moving sound I’ve ever heard, by the way.”

“You’re just saying that,” I said.

“Not at all, little fox.” His cheeks dimpled. “I only say it because it’s true. It felt like you were singing straight to my soul.”

I tucked a curl behind my frostbitten ear. “I don’t know what to say to that.”

“You don’t need to say anything,” Grae said. “I’m just glad you heard it.”

I looked up to the pale blue sky peeking between the thick, dark clouds. “Is this another one of your special places?”

“No,” Grae murmured, staring up at the heavy pine boughs. “I just knew there wouldn’t be many humans all the way out here. There are still ebarvens in these woods.” His eyes turned toward me and I could see it all—the fear, the pain.

“What will happen now?” I whispered. “Do you think your father will truly disown you?”

The muscle in Grae’s cheek flickered as he bobbed his head. “He’ll say it was for the good of the pack, or that he’s trying to protect them.” He brushed his hair off his forehead, leaning forward onto his knees. “It’s amazing the lies we tell ourselves to justify the actions of others.”

I could think of so many lies I told myself, about me, about the pack. “What lies do you tell yourself?”

“That I deserved the way my father treated me.” Grae hung his head and let out a long breath. “That I could’ve saved my mother.”

Pangs of sorrow carved into me. Grae kept his eyes fixed on the snow. I placed my hand on his back, needing him to feel anchored to me in that moment.I’m here, that hand told him, better than my words ever could.

“What happened to her?” I couldn’t hide the shake in my voice.

“I wasn’t the easiest pup to control. I was stubborn and impulsive, like all good princes should be. But I was going to get a crown for marrying Briar, and that gave me power. So the king used my mother to keep me in line.”

I sucked in a sharp breath. “How?”

His eyes remained fixed on his hands. “I think you know how.”

The words punched into my chest. “No.”

“It was all behind closed doors,” he whispered. “But you could see it in public, how hollow she was. She’d try to hide her injuries, but those closest could see them. It happened more often when I was young. I think my father always feared I would try to keep Olmdere for myself once I married Briar instead of joining it with Damrienn. He worried I’d defect from the Silver Wolf pack and start my own.” His shoulders dropped. “My father claimed she was sick withailments. He’d justify it in different ways: why she wasn’t places or didn’t run with the pack. But the rest of the pack whispered about it.” Softly—so softly—“And I knew.”

“How did she die?” My voice cracked.

“She jumped out her window.” Grae’s voice was heartbreakingly even. “At least, that’s the rumor I’d heard. I hadn’t been there that day and the means of death were never divulged,out of respect to the pack, they said. But if it had been anything else, they would’ve said as much.”

“Out of respect to the pack,” I said, shaking my head. “His hand might’ve not been on her back, but the king pushed her out that window with his many years of actions.”