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“What, are you a lesbian after all, or do you just have a hard time picturing anything other than Brooklyn at this point?”

I sighed, a hand to my forehead. “Yeah, the latter.”

“Point taken.” She leaned back in the seat, kicking one leg up over the other, sipping her drink, and I took the opportunity to say,

“So, you tried it out with Allison?”

She spat her drink back into her glass, whirling on me with a betrayed look. “BB told you?”

Well, there we were. I raised my eyebrows. “She didn’t. I was just guessing. But I’m… taking that as confirmation.”

She hunched her shoulders, going moodily back to her drink. “Ugh… I guess I kind of figured she’d tell you. She did tell me some things she said you’d kill her for saying, so I assumed she wasn’t exactly one for secrets.”

I pursed my lips. “And… what, pray tell, are those things?”

“I asked her how enthusiastic you were for your first time.”

I looked straight ahead. “Did you, now.”

“She said very.”

“Mm.” I set my drink down, tenting my hands. “Well, enthusiastic consent is important.”

She took her straw, focusing intently on stirring her drink. “It’s just to try it out on vacation.”

“Trying out what, romance or sex?”

“Both.”

I raised an eyebrow at her. “Huh,” I said. “So… what’s the answer?”

She hugged herself as wind came in off the ocean, tossing her hair in long strands over her shoulders. She stared out to the distance for a long time, before, contemplatively, she said, “I come way harder with a girl.”

“Okay—well. Congratulations on that.”

She gave me an inquisitive look. “Is that just a me thing?”

“No—” I put my hands up, looking away. “No, it’s not. Not like it’s some… universal law… but it’s something a lot of girls say.”

“I’ve only touched her a little bit, but she seemed like she really liked it. It’s kind of… I don’t know.” She shrugged. “It feels like things are so stiff with a guy. Like, he could be really sexy, but it’s kind of boring how he’s all… macho and acts like it’s whatever.”

“Uh-huh…”

“The last guy I was with didn’t makeanysound in bed. It was so awkward. I’d just be down there wondering if any of it was working…”

I laughed, spontaneously, surprising myself. “Shane was pretty quiet too,” I said. “He’d make a few stock comments, but that was it.”

She whirled on me. “So it’s a thing guys do?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t slept with them all.”

She laughed. “I know. You barely sleep with anyone. I still can’t believe you got into this with Brooklyn.”

“Uh-huh… me neither, honestly.” I took a long sip of my drink before I said, “Have you been with anyone queer before Allison?”

“Like a bisexual guy or something?” She shook her head. “No. Why?”

“I feel like you should probably try. I don’t think you realize how much you hate gender roles.”