Page 28
“We grew up together as neighbors. And after Crawyth, we were raised together in the same house with other hybrid orphans. When…when I told him who I really was, he shrugged.” Demos laughed. “He said my name would be good for only one thing in those days— convincing hybrids to trust me long enough to get them out of Eprotha. And so, we did. Until that night, when we were betrayed. Torinth was always late. That night was no different, and it saved his life. I saw him as I was being dragged out. He was running toward us—I don’t know what he thought he was going to do, but he would’ve died. Our friend Greon roared at him to run. And he did. To this day, I don’t know if Tor was caught and killed—orif he managed to stay free. All I know is I didn’t hear of him in Regner’s dungeon.”
“What makes you think he won’t come?”
“I got everyone we loved killed, Sin. I was the one who’d chosen that meeting place. And they were there because they believed in me.”
It was no use attempting to argue with him now. He had that stubborn look in his eyes.
“I…I can’t understand how you lasted so long in that place,” I said. “I think I would have curled up and given in to death. Welcomed it, even.”
He slowly shook his head. “No, you wouldn’t have. Even when you were hours from death, your body was fighting it. But me? I begged for death to claim me every day. And always, the dark gods ignored my pleas.”
My heart galloped in my chest. The thought of Demos dying alone in that place, the thought that he wouldn’t have been there when I arrived…
“I’m glad the gods ignored you.”
He let out a humorless laugh. “At first, I prayed for death because I thought I might see the others again. And then I realized they were unlikely to want to see me, even in the afterlife. So, I prayed to be taken to Hubur, where at least I might forget.”
It hurt, knowing how broken he had been. Knowing that some part of him was still broken. “Of course they would want to see you, Demos.”
His hand released mine, and he shoved it through his hair. “They…screamed for me,” he said hoarsely. “As they were dragged past my cell. They trusted me to keep them alive. Many of them believed—up until their finalmoments—that I had some kind of plan in place. That I was going to get them out. And all I could do was sit in that cell and watch as they were led to their deaths. They were my friends. My family.”
My breath hitched. Demos had lost them all. And then he’d remained in that cell for almost an entire year after they’d died. He’d said little to me when I’d first arrived. A few growled instructions to eat, but mostly, he’d ignored me.
Because why would he want to get to know another person who would die?
But then he’d met Prisca. And he’d learned who she was. I’d watched, day by day, as the rage in him had burned so deep, I’d wondered how it hadn’t melted through the fae iron surrounding us.
He’d made me talk, even when I’d wanted nothing more than to give in to grief and depression. He’d encouraged me to tell him about my mother, about our village. I’d told him about Prisca…
“You saved my life,” I said.
He shook his head.
“You did. You want to know why the gods ignored you when you begged them for death? Because you had more work to do. You’ve already saved so many lives, and you’re going to save more. You’re going to help Prisca take our people home.”
He gave me a faint smile, taking my hand once more. We walked in silence for a while, until we’d looped back around toward the camp.
“I know you think I’m overprotective and domineering,” he said, making it clear he’d noticed myreaction to his declaration I would be leaving with him. “I’m…I’m going to do better, Sin. I promise.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I lifted his hand, pressing a kiss to the back of it. His eyes darkened.
I understood Demos more than I ever had before. He had been forced to watch the people he was supposed to protect die. They’d offered him their trust, their allegiance, their friendship. And he blamed himself every day for their deaths.
Now, if we were lucky and Tor was still alive—and willing to help us—Demos would be forced to face that past once more.
I just hoped it wouldn’t tear him apart.
5
The Queen
“Are you sure about this, Your Majesty?”
I pulled the hood of my cloak lower over my head as the sea breeze delved beneath my clothes. Just footspans away, a dockhand argued with a fisherman, while several whores called to a group of soldiers from the window of a brothel. Pelysian had managed to get us back to Lesdryn far more quickly than the route I’d originally taken. But most of our trip had been consumed by him arguing against my returning to the castle.
Pelysian frowned. “You know I will not be able to help if something goes wrong.”
I nodded. The twin to the mirror in my bedroom—while warded to only accept the blood of either of our lines—was too far for Pelysian to get to. The hovel his mother lived in was over a day’s ride away, so he wouldn’t be able to get to her mirror and into my chambers that way.
“What makes you think he won’t come?”
“I got everyone we loved killed, Sin. I was the one who’d chosen that meeting place. And they were there because they believed in me.”
It was no use attempting to argue with him now. He had that stubborn look in his eyes.
“I…I can’t understand how you lasted so long in that place,” I said. “I think I would have curled up and given in to death. Welcomed it, even.”
He slowly shook his head. “No, you wouldn’t have. Even when you were hours from death, your body was fighting it. But me? I begged for death to claim me every day. And always, the dark gods ignored my pleas.”
My heart galloped in my chest. The thought of Demos dying alone in that place, the thought that he wouldn’t have been there when I arrived…
“I’m glad the gods ignored you.”
He let out a humorless laugh. “At first, I prayed for death because I thought I might see the others again. And then I realized they were unlikely to want to see me, even in the afterlife. So, I prayed to be taken to Hubur, where at least I might forget.”
It hurt, knowing how broken he had been. Knowing that some part of him was still broken. “Of course they would want to see you, Demos.”
His hand released mine, and he shoved it through his hair. “They…screamed for me,” he said hoarsely. “As they were dragged past my cell. They trusted me to keep them alive. Many of them believed—up until their finalmoments—that I had some kind of plan in place. That I was going to get them out. And all I could do was sit in that cell and watch as they were led to their deaths. They were my friends. My family.”
My breath hitched. Demos had lost them all. And then he’d remained in that cell for almost an entire year after they’d died. He’d said little to me when I’d first arrived. A few growled instructions to eat, but mostly, he’d ignored me.
Because why would he want to get to know another person who would die?
But then he’d met Prisca. And he’d learned who she was. I’d watched, day by day, as the rage in him had burned so deep, I’d wondered how it hadn’t melted through the fae iron surrounding us.
He’d made me talk, even when I’d wanted nothing more than to give in to grief and depression. He’d encouraged me to tell him about my mother, about our village. I’d told him about Prisca…
“You saved my life,” I said.
He shook his head.
“You did. You want to know why the gods ignored you when you begged them for death? Because you had more work to do. You’ve already saved so many lives, and you’re going to save more. You’re going to help Prisca take our people home.”
He gave me a faint smile, taking my hand once more. We walked in silence for a while, until we’d looped back around toward the camp.
“I know you think I’m overprotective and domineering,” he said, making it clear he’d noticed myreaction to his declaration I would be leaving with him. “I’m…I’m going to do better, Sin. I promise.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I lifted his hand, pressing a kiss to the back of it. His eyes darkened.
I understood Demos more than I ever had before. He had been forced to watch the people he was supposed to protect die. They’d offered him their trust, their allegiance, their friendship. And he blamed himself every day for their deaths.
Now, if we were lucky and Tor was still alive—and willing to help us—Demos would be forced to face that past once more.
I just hoped it wouldn’t tear him apart.
5
The Queen
“Are you sure about this, Your Majesty?”
I pulled the hood of my cloak lower over my head as the sea breeze delved beneath my clothes. Just footspans away, a dockhand argued with a fisherman, while several whores called to a group of soldiers from the window of a brothel. Pelysian had managed to get us back to Lesdryn far more quickly than the route I’d originally taken. But most of our trip had been consumed by him arguing against my returning to the castle.
Pelysian frowned. “You know I will not be able to help if something goes wrong.”
I nodded. The twin to the mirror in my bedroom—while warded to only accept the blood of either of our lines—was too far for Pelysian to get to. The hovel his mother lived in was over a day’s ride away, so he wouldn’t be able to get to her mirror and into my chambers that way.
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