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I wish it were my Ceremony today and not Gina’s.

“Are you excited?” Tulip asks. “You’re so lucky.” She draws out the phrase until it seems her breath is going to run right out. “Isn’t she lucky, Angel?”

“Um, yeah,” I answer absently. “Lucky for sure.” Today’s the day that Gina will be made a woman by Father Daddy and Brother Owen. What could be luckier than that?

I wonder if she and Tulip notice how massive Father Daddy looks when he’s stomping across the altar. How his jaw sets when he looks at each one of us in the congregation in turn. How his tattoos make him look even more like artwork. Or how Brother Owen’s powerful forearms ripple as he waves the cross at us.

The cross is supposed to represent the thrust to heaven and the horizontal earth. Man is caught in between the two, the center of the two lines. I guess Gina will get her cross necklace today.

“Did you find out exactly what’s going to happen at the Ceremony?” asks Tulip. “I’ve heard a few things, but I don’t know what to believe.” Her eyes are wide and curious. “It sounds like it gets pretty wild.”

I’ve heard a thing or two as well, but nothing that makes me believe I have half a clue what’s going to happen at the Ceremony. All I know is that they decide when I should become a woman and they make me ready for my Master.

“I don’t think it’s that big a deal,” Gina answers, casually examining her nails now. “It’s Father Daddy and Brother Owen. What can they do that’s so wild?”

Tulip looks doubtful. She’s always been nicer than Gina, who if you don’t mind my saying is a bit of a witch. Why she gets to be a woman today and not me, I have no idea. Besides, everything Father Daddy and Brother O do is interesting.

“You’ll have to tell us everything!” Tulip says, looking at me for confirmation. “Right, Angel?”

“Oh, no, you can’t!” I say.

“Angel’s right,” Gina shrugs. “It’s secret. You’ll find out when you find out.”

Tulip is full of energy, and she jumps around us, giggling. “I wish you would tell us! Please, please!”

“If you don’t settle down, you’re going to get us all in trouble,” I warn her. Mary’s already giving us the evil eye from across the church lawn.

“Well, alls I know is that I’m going to be a woman, by tonight,” says Gina. “And soon I’ll get my Master. I wonder who it’s going to be?”

“Could be anyone,” I say, shooting another look at Tulip, who looks down contritely and straightens the top of her dress after jumping around. She’s finally starting to bloom up top and get her breasts. “Seth, Aaron, Billy…”

“They’re all just boys. I think I’d want Father Daddy himself to be my Master,” says Gina impishly. “He’s so good looking. Him or Brother O.”

“You can’t have Father Daddy!” Tulip hisses. “He’s too good for any of us. Brother Owen, either. They’re too powerful. They’re like gods!”

I know what Gina means. Father Daddy and Brother O are the handsomest men in the Family, Kingdom Come. And so righteous. But you can’t have either. Nobody can have them.

They’re everyone’s, and nobody’s.

Chapter 59

Silas

Owen slips through the side door, smirking at me in greeting. His grey eyes flicker around the interior of the pole barn, but we are still alone. He looks excited, tense like a wire strung between two poles. I can hear him chewing the inside of his cheek and cracking his knuckles as he settles into his throne.

I've got a little too much on my mind for this, but I need to be present, to focus. I know I need to shut everything else away and try to just exist in the moment. Gina’s deflowering ceremony is not going to be the easiest one. She hasn't been an easy child, and now that she's becoming a woman, she has a lot to learn. I almost feel sorry for whoever is made her Master. He’ll still have a lot of work to do even after Brother Owen and I are done with her.

The barn is clean, as clean as a barn can get. The concrete floor has been thoroughly swept and is only lightly coated in dust, with a subtle, lined texture that the broom bristles made. It will do just fine, the way it has for every other ceremony for the last ten years. The humbleness of the cold concrete is what we like to call spiritually useful.

Obedience is hard, the same way the floor is hard.

Obedience is strength, the same way wood is strength.

The strings of lightbulbs that sway back and forth across the rafters illuminate the room in a kind of magical glow. It looks like it could be a harvest dance in here. Maybe a birthday party or some other kind of feast. A baptism. A wedding.

We have weddings in here too, though they are usually done in groups. Unlike the mainstream heathens, we don't elevate the individual over the group. When we marry, we marry together to show that every person is part of the Kingdom Come Family. It's not just two people going off to be on their own; it's two people joining the larger group.

Even those foolish young ones who think they're going to strike out, change things, shake things up… they learn. They see the benefit to unity among our people. They begin to understand the value of loyalty over self-interest.