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Leaning over me, he plants a small kiss on my back before he pulls out and wipes me clean. “Here,” he says as he pulls on his pants and underwear and hands me my clothes. He helps me dress, lovingly caressing my body as he holds my panties and then pants for me to step into. It’s intimate and I don’t know how to feel about it.
Once he’s gotten me dressed, he tosses the offending dirty items in a bin and looks at me. “We have a lot more to discuss, but not here.”
I bite my lip and nod in agreement. What am I doing? I’ve just had sex with Aiden again, and we haven’t even spoken about the past yet. I’m afraid of the talk we’ll need to have. I’m afraid I’m falling back in love with him, and when I tell him the truth, I’ll lose him all over again. My eyes well with tears.
“Hey,” he says as he steps forward and cups my face. “What’s this?” He wipes a tear from my cheek with his thumb.
I shake my head. “I…nothing. I’m just…this is a lot.”
“I know, star.” He clenches his jaw, and his eyes darken. “I’m so fucking sorry that I got you involved in all of this.”
I put my hand on his chest, feeling his beating heart beneath his shirt. Somehow, the steady rhythm of it soothes me.
“I’m not sorry.” I look up at him. “I’m not sorry that you’re back in my life, regardless of how.”
He swallows and his tight facial features relax slightly as he caresses my jawline and pulls his hand away. “We need to be careful. From here out, use only the burner phone unless it’s part of your normal routine. Turn off your phone when—”
I place a finger to his lips. “I know. You don’t have to mansplain this to me.”
He grins beneath my finger and kisses it. “Sorry, I can’t help it. I know you’re capable.”
“Good, don’t forget, I’ve been trained to kick asses of men larger than you,” I say with a smile as I pull my finger away.
He grips my hips and pulls me against him, leaning down until his mouth is a hair away from mine. “I’d like to see you try, star,” he whispers, a smirk replacing the smile on his face.
“So cocky,” I chide.
Shrugging, he presses a quick kiss to my lips. “We should go. I’m assuming you are due back at work, and I have my own research program to run.”
I pause at his words. I know about his recent promotion.
“What?” he asks, sensing my unease.
“Aid, have you ever…never mind,” I stammer as I decide not to ask.
His hand comes up to my face again and he tips my chin up until our eyes meet. “What? You can ask me anything, Ells.”
I swallow my unease. “You’re young.”
He laughs. “I know. I mean, I guess I am still young.”
“No, I mean, you’re young to be running a whole program.”
He pulls his hand back a bit. “What do you mean?”
“I’m sure you earned it. I mean, you’re brilliant and all, but it’s just…unusual, don’t you think?”
He frowns. “Are you implying I didn’t earn it?”
“No,” I insist as I hold up my hands defensively. “Not at all. I just…you said I can tell you anything.”
He clenches his jaw again. “I didn’t think insults would be part of the ‘anything.’”
“I’m not trying to insult you. I swear it. I…I’m young to be in charge of my lab as well. Why do you think we are in charge of projects like this at our age? And Sebastian, as soon as it was legally possible, won an election for Congress and now he’ll probably win a Senate seat. And Conner, he’s running a powerful lobbying firm and he’s just barely thirty. Think about it.”
Aiden steps back and runs a hand through his hair. He looks at me, and I can’t read him. I’m not sure if he’s furious I said this out loud or if he’s furious that he’s never considered it.
“Shit, Ells. You probably aren’t wrong. These guys are in it for the long game. I mean, doors open for us. I know that. It’s part of being in the brotherhood. But I never considered how much every aspect of our lives would be predetermined without our knowledge.”