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I didn’t know exactly, but who wouldn’t experience a storm of emotions after seeing so many people die for doing their job? For being around others who bore the guilt.

King Magnus had declared that if anyone knew about the rebels, or even suspected, they’d better come forward to save their own skin. To do otherwise was treason. TheKing of Winter had sowed fear, and I didn’t doubt he would see his harvest.

No one in the city would take in rebels. No one would want to help them. Would the ones they were still searching for be able to get out?

According to Vale, there were a few who had escaped. The black-haired girl, for one.

The door to the bathroom opened, and I breathed a sigh of relief when Vale exited, fully clothed. “All yours.”

“Actually.” The word came out garbled, and I cleared my throat. That happened when one talked little. “I want to train today. I can go alone.”

Hurt crossed his face, and I cringed. I hated causing him pain, but it was all I’d been doing since I learned the truth of my ancestry. I’d ignored him, distanced myself from him, been short and far too quiet.

My stomach roiled at the wrongness of it all.

“I should go to assess you. Few are better,” he said, and when I didn’t argue the point, he added, “But unless I have advice for you, I’ll keep to myself.”

His question as towhyI was keeping him at arm’s length hung in the air, plain in his beautiful brown eyes.

Desperate to break the connection between us, I looked at the floor and leapt from the bed. There was no use in arguing that he should be there. As the most accomplished warrior in the kingdom, Vale was also an ideal instructor and though I sometimes felt like it might be better to let the vampires take me, I wasn’t ready to give up yet.

Getting away, running south, and trying to forget whathad happened, I could do that. I could even try to forget Vale.

But die?

I might hate myself for what I’d done and how much I was hurting Vale, but when it came down to it, I wanted to live.

“I have to put on pants and a shirt, and I’ll be ready.”

“Wear fighting leathers today,” Vale replied, his tone level.

I didn’t ask why, only set to put on the appropriate clothing for what I hoped would be hours of physical exertion.

Within minutes, a Clawsguard was following us through the castle. No one spoke on the way, and though the silence between us was becoming more common, it still made my heart ache.

Thankfully, when we arrived in the training room, others were present. Sayyida fought with Filip while Sian assessed their style and abilities. Luccan, Thantrel, and Arie were present too, warming up, and in Arie’s case, stretching on the ground.

“Father said we needed to train more,” Luccan said as we neared the crew. “What with the rebel attacks and all. And he told Arie that he had to come too. No excuses, not that Arie complied with that command.”

The middle Riis brother frowned at the jab, but I nodded, understanding the deeper meaning. Vale had told Lord Riis that the king suspected the Lord of Tongues might be in possession of the Ice Scepter. Lord Riis probably wished for his sons to train to defend themselvesagainst the king and his soldiers—as much as against the rebels.

“It can’t hurt.” Vale eyed me sidelong before catching himself and looking away.

My cheeks burned. Before, I’d have basked in his attention, wanted it. Craved it, even. But now, it reminded me of our shame, a shame only I knew about.

“Want to spar with me, Princess Neve?” Thantrel swaggered closer, his emerald eyes gleaming with playful confidence and those fiery wings rustling.

“No,” Vale answered for me. “She’s not there yet. She’ll fight with Filip or Sayyida.” He paused for a heartbeat. “And today she’s using live steel.”

My spine straightened. Save for that one time I’d sparred with him using live steel, Vale had insisted I continue to practice with wooden swords. Everyone I’d trained with had done the same. It was a precaution. One that would be removed when he thought I had enough control over a weapon.

“Thank you,” I murmured.

“You’ve already done so. At the theater.” Vale didn’t look at me as he spoke. “And I know you’re strong enough to hold and wield steel now. So it’s time to push your abilities further. Today you’ll fight with a sword and two stakes.”

Neither of us knew when a vampire would attack, but one day, they would come. When that day arrived decapitation, a stake to the heart, and infernos were the only ways to kill the bloodsuckers.

If only I were a fire fae. Anything other than what I am.