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“It was difficult not to. You’ve been sleeping for two days. Someone needed to check if you were still breathing.”

My mind was still muddled with sleep, so it took me a moment to remember.

The pain blindsided me, and I gasped out a breath.

Asinia reached for my hand. “I know.”

We lay in silence for a long time. At some point, I stumbled to the bathing room. When I shambled back toward the bed, Asinia eyed me.

“Lorian is downstairs getting something to eat.”

I just nodded, taking in her limp hair and pale face. She watched me back. “I know you’re blaming yourself,” she said.

I didn’t bother trying to deny it.

She sat up, bringing her knees to her chest. “You’re probably thinking none of this would have happened if you hadn’t lost your temper with Kreilor and used your power that day.”

It was the truth. Asinia shook her head at me. “You were running. And you would have made it on to a ship. I know you would have. Especially after Tibris found you. But instead, you walked into that castle because I was there.”

My stomach clenched. “Asinia—”

“No, listen.”

I clamped my mouth shut.

Asinia’s mouth twisted. “I can just as easily blame myself. I should have run the moment I knew you were gone. But I was too slow. And you risked everything to saveme. You would never have saved all those hybrids if I hadn’t been down in that dungeon. And that’s what made Regner so furious.”

I sighed. “It always would have come to this. At some point, I would have learned who I was.”

“And Regner would have burned our village and killed all those people as retaliation. Always. It’s his tried and true method whenever he decides to lash out. Both of us could blame ourselves. Truthfully, Chista should carry some blame too if we’re playing that game, but I won’t speak badly of the dead.”

I winced, but I understood where Asinia was going with this. Still, the pain burrowed deep, until my head spun with it.

“All of them, Asinia.”

Her eyes filled. “I know. But if we blame ourselves, if we allow it to cripple us, he wins. You’re allowed to feel like shit. You’re allowed to sleep for a couple of days and shut out the world. But then you have to get up and keep moving. Because we’re all counting on you.”

I took a deep breath. Part of me wanted to crawl back into bed, but the rest of me knew she was right. I had to keep moving. And I could do it, because of her. Because of Lorian, my brothers, Cavis, and the others. “Thank you. For being here.”

Her smile was fragile, broken. “Where else would I be?”

* * *

Demos made a small sound, and I turned as Prisca appeared at the bottom of the stairs. Something inside my chest unlocked. I glanced at her brothers. From the twin looks of relief on their faces, they felt the same.

Telean took a bite of stew. Clearly, she’d expected nothing less.

Asinia trailed after Prisca. She looked drained but resolute.

I took Prisca’s hand and pulled her into the seat next to me as Asinia took the seat across from her.

Prisca met my eyes. “Cavis?”

I kept hold of her hand, needing to touch her. “He’s on watch.”

She nodded. I signaled for more stew.

“Thol?” Asinia asked.