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“It’s true. I won you over immediately.” He patted my hand. “You just can’t help loving me. Don’t be ashamed. Happens to everyone. But I would appreciate it if you’d stop giving me bedroom eyes every time you look at me. They become hard to ignore.”

I gave his shoulder another shove. “I do not give you bedroom eyes.”

I dipped my head into his back, grinning.

“You may not mean to, but it’s a side effect of being around me.”

“The side effect of being around you is frustration.”

“Bedroom eyes tend to happen when you’re sexually frustrated.”

I groaned and stopped replying. I couldn’t win against E.Z.. He was just too good at what he did.

“Aiden waited him out and talked to him eventually.” E.Z. finally relented.” It took weeks for Griffin to respond, though.”

He continued his endless chatter the whole time we rode. Each of his stories was more far-fetched than the last. When I called him on his bullshit, he would chuckle as if a laugh was a decent defense and move on. I loved it. His laughter was addicting and made me want to hear it again, to say something just to feel his body shudder as he let it loose.

As we rode, I greedily took in the scenery. I’d never experienced the world this way.

Father was a great parent, but after Mother died, he sheltered me too much, not allowing me to take risks. He saw what life was like beyond the capital walls and refused to let me leave. Even inside the castle walls, fear of someone finding out my secret left me mainly constricted to our rooms. I interacted with Liam but didn’t have other friends. Sometimes, I felt isolated.

I devoured as many books, in as many subjects as possible, so I would not feel trapped. The written word and pictures could take me away from my own suffocating suites and go anywhere in the kingdom I wanted. I escaped on the back of a prince’s horse and rode off into the moonlight. I went on adventures and experienced romance, living life through those heroines.

But a magnitude of feelings can’t be adequately portrayed in books— like the rough graze of a man’s stubble or the feeling of his arms around you. That’s something you need to experience yourself.

I have also learned that it depends on the man. Some stubble can bite, while others scrape. Some hurt and disgust, while others send shivers of pleasure to parts of your body you never knew existed. Some embraces felt threatening, while others soothed you to your very soul and sent your pulse racing in equal measure. Some of those things I was glad to have experienced. Other things I will strive to never feel again.

Chapter14

Kaia

Several hours into our ride, Elijah led the horses off the marked trail, heading toward Earth. He traveled deep into the wooded area before stopping at a clearing near a stream.

E.Z.’s whole body was tight and alert. Bending his head, he closed his eyes. I watched him use, trying to memorize his procedure. His head bowed, but his shoulders remained tall and strong. He gripped the seat tighter with his thighs, pushing himself further into the cradle of mine, his fingers tapping against my upper leg as he directed Air through the area.

He seemed to expand in my hold, every muscle locked and corded. I had to restrain myself from exploring the defined ridges of his abdomen with my fingertips or closing my eyes, burying my nose in his back, and breathing in that smell.

What was that smell?

It smelled like the mountains or a winter snow, and was equally as breathtaking, overtaking my senses. It washed me in a wave of heat that had my core throbbing almost painfully, pulsing along with my pebbled nipples as they pushed against his muscular back, aching for more friction.

I didn’t know why my body was aching the way it was. It took effort not to arch my back and grind against him. I didn't move at all, not wanting to distract E.Z. from his task, but it was torture.

When he was finished, E.Z. turned, grinning at me over his shoulder. His blond hair was shining, and his eyes were now a light blue to match the midday sky. They were filled with mischief that both scared and excited me all at once.

“Did you enjoy that as much as I did? Or was the pleasure all mine?” E.Z.'s eyes twinkled at me, sparkling with humor.

I huffed and quickly slid off the horse, needing to hide my reaction from him.

I could also hear Elijah huff as he stomped around, setting up a makeshift campfire— the damp branches no match for his element.

“I’m going hunting,” Elijah barked. “E.Z., you’re with me.”

Elijah glanced my way briefly with a warning in his eyes before taking off into the trees with E.Z. trailing none too happily behind him.

His eyes told me to behave. It was hard to know what the pompous ass thought I would do, but maybe he had a good point. Just the night before, I had snotted all over Griffin while yelling at him, sniffed the shit out of him after stealing a kiss, and then attached myself to him like a leech. Not my best look. But it wasn’t like Elijah knew that.

Eek, what had I been thinking? I wasn’t. That’s the problem. I didn’t think. I just acted. It had to be grief induced. My entirely out-of-the-norm, snotty, clingy, forward behavior could easily be chalked up to grief, right?