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Instead, I pulled the vial out of my pocket and let two drops ofwinvracoat my tongue. The sweet, tangy juice warmed my skin and numbed the pain in my throat. The craving settled to a mild ache in my stomach, and I trotted into the black.

I took first watch the next night. We hadn’t stopped since we’d left Aralinth, traveling through the night and the entire next day. We curved through the wood to the south of the city and back up toward the pass. Too tired to speak, we rode in silence until our backs ached, not stopping until our bodies were numb.

We wanted to put as much distance as possible between us and Gerarda. She could already be heading back to Elverath, only a few hours behind us. I knew Gerarda would ride fast and long once she left Aralinth. Every minute we weren’t resting needed to be spent on the trail.

I let the others warm their bedrolls by the fire and sat with my back against the trunk of a tree. Its leaves were pinkish in the firelight and its bright yellow vines seemed to glow. It bore no fruit that I could see but smelled of flowers all the same. I kept my exhaustion at bay by whittling sticks to sharp points with my knife. They’d make useful skewers or traps on the road, but mostly it distracted me from the weight pressing on my eyelids.

The forest was quieter than when I’d crossed before. The wind whistled a faint song through the leaves that must have put the creatures to sleep. Even with my heightened hearing, I didn’t sense anything lurking around our camp. I nestled closer to the tree, leaning my head back as I cut into a thin branch.

Something moved. I raised my head at the noise, hands wrapped around my blade. But I didn’t need to bother. It was only Riven standing up from his bedroll. I watched him stretch, arms wide, his neck craning to one side. He snapped around as if he sensed me watching.

I started whittling the twig again, ignoring him. He marched away from the camp until his footfalls were too faint to hear. When he came back, he held out a water sack, freshly filled, and took a seat beside me.

“Did you poison it?” I asked.

Riven snorted. He grabbed it back and took a large gulp. “Don’t give me any ideas,” he said darkly, holding it out once more.

I took a small sip, the water cool and fresh on my tongue. I took another. Riven’s eyes fell to my lips as I handed the sack back. I dried them with the back of my hand. Riven’s gaze flicked to the fire. The hazy outlines of two bodies were just visible through the flames. Syrra slept so still, with her hand resting on the circular blade beside her, ready to attack. Nikolai shivered as he snored softly, half of his body stretched out from beneath his coverlet.

“What are you doing?” Riven asked. He took another gulp of the water. “You’re supposed to be on watch.”

I shot him a hard glance before carving out another thin slice of wood. “I’m making skewers. To snare and cook with. And since my hearing is just as good as yours, you should know that nothing is sneaking up on us while I’m awake.”

I thought he would rebuff what I said, add a sneering comment. Instead, he picked up one of the sticks. I passed him a knife from the bag beside me. We sat in silence, falling into a steady rhythm of slicing our blades through the wood. We finished our skewers at the same time.

“You can’t know that,” Riven said, after a long silence. I pinched my brows together. “That your hearing is as good as mine. I’m Fae. You’re a Halfling.”

“And?” I threw the finished skewer into the pile and picked up another stick.

Riven leaned against the base of the tree, closing his eyes in a slow blink. “Fae are stronger than Halflings. Faster. Our hearing is better too.”

I wanted to scoff and ignore him, but I didn’t. The past two days had been filled with awkward silence. Whispered conversations between him and the others. I wasn’t only the odd person out, but the one with the most to prove. My skin itched beneath my tunic. If I refused to reveal my scars as proof of my commitment to our mission, then perhaps I could gain his trust with a little bit of truth at a time.

“I was tested at the Order,” I said, unsure if he would care. Riven didn’t interrupt so I continued. “When they found me. I had no idea who I was.WhatI was. No parents to be found, no memories. The face and ears of an Elf. They almost killed me right there, but then someone pricked my arm with a knife and my blood ran amber.” I stared into the fire until the blur of orange faded into the memory of that day. I’d been shackled by a king’s guard until the Arsenal came to assess me.

“Halfling blood,” Riven murmured, pulling me out of the reverie.

I nodded, dropping the stick into my lap. “But that wasn’t enough for them,” I whispered. “They tested me against other Halfling children whose lineage they could trace. Females and males. After a while even full-grown Halflings. But I was always stronger, faster. Every test they gave me, I passed.” My throat swelled, stifling my voice. They’d only been the first tests I would pass. The others would be tests cast in blood.

Riven set his arms on his knees as he whittled the last stick. “They thought you were Elven born?” he guessed.

I nodded. “Most did. A couple even thought I was Fae, despite my blood. But my ears are longer than yours, aren’t they? More like the eastern Wood Elves, I was told. So that’s the conclusion they came to in the end. I was born from Elf and Halfling.” I tucked my knife back into the roll of blades beside me.

“What about you?” Riven asked, turning his head toward me. “What do you think?”

I took in a deep breath. Without anything distracting my fingers the exhaustion crashed through me. “I don’t think it matters,” I said with a shrug. “Halfling blood is Halfling blood. I’m no different than any other. Not under the decree.”

“You’re here,” Riven said, chucking the knife on top of the roll. His arm stretched across my chest, casting his scent of dew and birchwood into the air. “You’re more free than any Halfling I’ve ever met.” He did not try to hide the venom in his words.

I scoffed. The names etched into my skin burned, begging to be unmasked. I rubbed my arm through my tunic and sighed. Only those who’d never been through the Order would think a Shade was free.

“I’m not as free as you think,” I said, too tired to add any fight behind the words. “And the freedoms I do have come at a cost most never pay.”

I could feel Riven’s eyes on my face, watching me as I tilted my head back, trying not to fall asleep.

“Enough about me,” I said through a yawn. “Do I get to know anything about you?”

Riven paused, his eyes flicking back and forth between me and the stick he twirled in his hand. “What do you want to know?”