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“You couldn’t have had a better teacher, Aran. He came to adore you. That’s why he stays in touch. I doubt he’ll go home to the ancients until you do.”

Over the years, I rationalized all manner of reasons a god would visit me. He’d said he was family, and I could feel that blood connected us somewhere along the line. But the significance of his sacrifice to be physical on the Earth plane never once crossed my mind. I made a disgusted sound over at how much I’d fooled even myself.

“I only practiced what The Dagda taught me when Jack was away at work. I told myself he’d be unhappy with what I’d learned to do and it would be hard on his male ego. I suppose that much was true, but my reasoning was stupid.”

“It was a blessing he was away a good deal of the time,” Conn added.

I shrugged because it was the truth, but I hated feeling like a fool. What could Jack have done if he knew how much more powerful that training had made me? He couldn’t have done anything. And I had many powers I’d never shown him. Why did I think that was a normal situation between a husband and wife?

I buried my face in my hands and groaned loudly. “I should have figured this out sooner. I’m too old to be dealing with this now.”

“I think this timing was always inevitable. You came into more power on your fortieth birthday. Why do you think Jack is so determined to reconcile with you?”

My hands slid away from my face. “Well, it’s not because I’m the only woman he wants warming his bed. He looked like his own grandfather after seven years of cheating.”

“Jack wants to control your powers, Aran. He wants to use you to accomplish his goals in life, which are all about his own fame and fortune. Have you seen the car he’s driving these days?”

“No. I’ve been doing my level best to stay away from him. All I want to do is turn him into a toad or something. Goddess, how I wish I’d picked someone else to father my child.”

“Fiona hasn’t suffered for his behavior. She doesn’t have your magick, but her child likely will. That’s what happened to you and your father. Jack loves her as much as he loves anyone other than himself. He also knowsyoulove Fiona. Fear of what you’d do to him has been a powerful motivator for him to be a decent father to your child.”

“Divorcing Jack wasn’t enough to get him out of my life, though, was it? How many more ways can a woman say goodbye?”

Laughing, Conn wouldn’t hold my gaze. “Time will fix what you want fixed. Until that happens, all you can do is keep being you. If you absolutely need revenge, I suggest seducing the ponytail guy. It would solve two of your problems. Jack would be appalled, and you’d get your rioting physical needs met. He has that look of being good in bed.”

I rolled my eyes. Whatever faint attraction I felt for Rasmus was long gone after his betrayal. “Goddess, yer lectures make it sound like I’m Fiona’s age.”

“Well, forty is the new twenty. Haven’t you heard?”

“I’m not sleeping with Rasmus to make Jack mad. I might have done that at twenty, but I’m forty now. Mature women do not stoop that low.”

“That’s unfortunate because I think your ponytail guy might know where your demons are. He reeked of demons. Some demon caste had him and kept him long enough for him to absorb their effluvium. I was close enough for long enough to determine which one. Jack had a little of the same clinging to him, but nothing like your long-haired nemesis.”

Maybe that explained Rasmus’s blind loyalty to Jack. Maybe Jack did rescue Rasmus from demons, though that seemed unlikely. Jack usually let others do his dirty work. Rasmus had said all his team died but him. Maybe he only credited Jack with saving him.

“How would I even find Rasmus now? I ordered him to stay away from me.”

“I’ll find him for you,” Conn said. “Go visit Bridget and swim with your daughter. Get a haircut or something. Goddess knows you need one.”

He pulled a small phone from his pocket. “Here. I got us a family plan with unlimited text and minutes. I even pre-loaded some games and apps. There’s one to order a ride whenever you need to go somewhere. Don’t expend your magick on transport travel unless you have to. I put enough in your account to pay for them. Save your magick to fight the demons because you know that’s going to happen.”

I hated technology. I used it, but I didn’t like it. It was too mechanical and impersonal. But it allowed me to conserve my energy.

“Thanks,” I said, taking the phone from his fingers with a frown.

“Do you hate the color?” he asked.

I snorted. “I hate the freaking phone, Conn. Ya know I hate those portable things.”

He sighed and shook his head. “You definitely need to get laid as soon as possible. I can’t handle you being this hard to please. If this is what forty is like for you, I can’t imagine how you’ll be at fifty or sixty.”

ChapterNine

After multiple coffee refills and several trips to the bathroom, Conn and I parted ways. I used the app to call myself a ride to the hotel. My driver was a pleasant woman, and we had a nice chat on the drive. I was her last fare of the day and then she was off to collect her kiddos from school.

Fiona ran to confront me the moment I appeared poolside. Ma lay in a nearby lounger reading a torrid romance novel. Was she missing the booty guy Conn mentioned? Just thinking about that had me cringing. Maybe Conn was right. My celibacy was affecting my view of life in more ways than I knew.

“Did you kill Daddy?”