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Chapter Fifty-Four

Lilianna

The morning came too quickly and before I knew it I was dressed and sitting with a cup of hot coffee in the car as Nicolaus drove through the quiet streets.

I glanced at Nicolaus in the driver's seat, noting how the dashboard lights cast sharp shadows across his profile.

He'd been quiet since we'd left the house, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence.

More like the focused calm of someone mentally preparing for something important.

“You're very quiet," I observed, glancing at his profile in the dashboard light. His hands were steady on the steering wheel, jaw relaxed but focused as he navigated the winding mountain roads.

"I'm thinking," he replied, his voice soft in the enclosed space of the car. "About today. About... us."

Something in his tone made my pulse quicken. "Good thoughts, I hope?"

"Complicated ones," he admitted, his voice so low I almost missed it. "But yes, good thoughts."

I studied him in the faint blue light from the dashboard, accentuating the sharp planes of his face. Unlike the others, Nicolaus rarely revealed his emotions openly. He kept them carefully contained, like precious things under glass. This small admission felt significant.

"Tell me," I prompted gently, turning in my seat to face him more fully.

Nicolaus was quiet for a long moment, his eyes fixed on the road ahead as it wound through the dense forest. When he finally spoke, his voice carried a weight I wasn't expecting.

"I've been watching you with the others," he said carefully.

"The way you've opened up, the way you've found different pieces of yourself with each of them.

" His fingers flexed slightly on the steering wheel.

"With Miles, you found a gentleness, a connection to nature.

With Christopher, creativity and passion.

With Julian, strength and protection." He paused, the silence heavy with unspoken thoughts.

"I've been wondering what you might find with me. "

The vulnerability in his admission caught me off guard. Nicolaus—always composed, always in control—was sharing doubts I hadn't realized he carried.

"I think that's for us to discover together," I said softly, reaching across the console to rest my hand on his arm. "But if I had to guess... I'd say balance. Clarity."

His eyes flickered to mine briefly before returning to the road, but that momentary connection spoke volumes. "Those are rare gifts," he murmured.

"So are you," I replied without hesitation. A ghost of a smile touched his lips as he took a turn onto a narrower road that wound deeper into the forest.

"We're almost there," he said, his voice carrying a note of anticipation that made my heart flutter. The trees grew thicker around us, their branches creating a canopy that filtered the early morning light into dappled patterns across the windshield.

I could smell it before I saw it—the crisp, clean scent of water carried on the morning breeze. When we finally rounded the last bend, I gasped softly at the sight before us.

The cove was nestled between towering pines and granite cliffs, water so still it looked like polished glass, reflecting the pale sky and the first hints of sunrise painting the eastern horizon in shades of golds and pinks.

A small wooden dock extended into the water, weathered but sturdy, and I could see a narrow path leading down from where Nicolaus parked the car.

"It's beautiful," I breathed, stepping out of the car and inhaling deeply. The air was crisp and clean, carrying the scent of pine and fresh water. Everything was perfectly still except for the gentle lapping of water against the dock.

"It gets better," Nicolaus said quietly, retrieving a large bag from the trunk. "The sunrise will hit the water in about twenty minutes. That's when it becomes truly magical."

He led me down the narrow path, his hand steady at my back as we navigated the slightly uneven ground. The dock was solid beneath our feet, and I could see clear to the bottom of the cove—smooth stones and gentle underwater plants swaying in the current.

"How did you find this place?" I asked, watching as he set down the bag and began unpacking towels and a thermos.

"My coach brought me here when I was sixteen," Nicolaus replied, his voice carrying a nostalgic note, “It had been at a time whenI was thinking of quitting the swim team.”

I turned to look at him, surprise clear on my face. "You wanted to quit swimming?"

Nicolaus nodded, his movements careful and deliberate as he continued unpacking.

"I was burned out. The pressure, the competition, the constant need to be perfect—it was consuming me.

I'd lost sight of why I started swimming in the first place.

" He pulled out a small bluetooth speaker and set it aside.

"So Coach Barker brought me here at dawn, just like this.

Told me to swim without thinking about form or times or anything else. Just... swim."

I could hear the emotion carefully contained in his voice, the way he spoke about it was like a turning point. "And did it help?"

"It saved my career," he said simply, straightening to look out over the water.

"I remembered that swimming wasn't about winning or losing.

It was about finding peace in the movement, in the rhythm of breathing and the water around me.

" He turned to me, his eyes reflecting the deepening colors of the sunrise.

"I come back here whenever I need to reset. To remember why I do what I do."

The significance of him sharing this place with me wasn't lost on me. This wasn't just a date—it was Nicolaus opening a door to something deeply personal.

"Thank you for bringing me here," I said softly, stepping closer to him. "For sharing this with me."

Nicolaus reached out, his fingers brushing a strand of hair from my face with careful precision. "I wanted you to experience it. The freedom of swimming without expectations." His eyes searched mine. "No one else is watching. No one judging your form or counting your laps. Just you and the water."

"And you," I added quietly. Something flickered in his expression—warmth, perhaps, or vulnerability quickly contained.

"And me," he agreed, his voice softer than I'd ever heard it. "Always me."

The first rays of sunlight broke over the horizon, painting the water in shades of gold and rose.

The transformation was breathtaking—what had been a mirror-still surface now shimmered with light, each ripple catching and reflecting the colors of dawn.

I understood immediately why Nicolaus had insisted on such an early start.

"Oh," I breathed, watching the light dance across the water. "It's incredible."

"It's even better from inside," Nicolaus said, already removing his shirt with efficient movements.

I tried not to stare at the lean muscles of his chest and shoulders, but found myself cataloging every line and shadow.

He was beautiful in a different way than the others—where Christopher was broad and solid, and Miles had that rangy strength, Nicolaus was all precise definition, every muscle.

sculpted by countless hours in the pool.

"Are you coming in?" he asked, pausing at the edge of the dock. There was no pressure in his voice, just a gentle invitation, “There is a swimsuit in the car if you prefer.”

I looked at the water, then at him, then made my decision.

"Turn around," I said, my voice steadier than I felt.

A small smile played at his lips, but he obliged, turning to face the water while I quickly shed my clothes.

The morning air was cool against my skin, raising goosebumps that had nothing to do with temperature and everything to do with the anticipation thrumming through my veins.

"Okay," I said softly, wrapping my arms around myself.

Nicolaus turned back to me, and I watched his breath catch as his eyes swept over me. Unlike the heated gazes of the others, his appreciation was quieter, more reverent.

"You're stunning," he said simply, his voice carrying a weight of sincerity that made my cheeks flush. "The water's going to be cold at first, but you'll adjust quickly."

He dove in with practiced grace, barely disturbing the surface as he disappeared beneath the golden water.

When he surfaced a few feet from the dock, his dark hair slicked back and droplets catching the morning light, I felt my breath catch.

This was Nicolaus in his element—completely at peace, every line of tension gone from his shoulders.

"Your turn," he called softly, treading water with effortless ease.

I sat on the edge of the dock, dangling my legs in the water. He was right—it was cold, but not unpleasantly so. More like a gentle shock that made my skin tingle with awareness.

"I'm not going to be graceful about this," I warned, glancing over to him. He was watching me with amused eyes.

“Grace is overrated," Nicolaus said, swimming closer to the dock. "Sometimes the best experiences come from abandoning perfection."

I took a deep breath and slipped into the water, gasping as the cool liquid enveloped my body.

The shock was immediate but not unpleasant—like being awakened from a dream.

My feet found the sandy bottom, and I stood chest-deep in the crystal-clear water, acutely aware of how the morning light played across the surface around us.

Nicolaus swam over to me with smooth, economical strokes, stopping just close enough that I could feel the gentle current from his movements. "How does it feel?" he asked, his voice carrying easily across the water.

"Like I'm weightless," I replied, surprised by the truth of it. The water supported me completely, removing all the usual tension I carried in my shoulders and back. "Like I could float here forever."

"You could," he said simply. "That's the point." He demonstrated, leaning back to float on his back with his arms spread wide. The sunrise painted his skin in shades of gold and amber, and I found myself mesmerized by the peaceful expression on his face. "Try it."

I attempted to mimic his position, but immediately felt myself sinking. "I don't think I'm doing it right," I laughed, water lapping at my chin.

“Here," Nicolaus said, moving closer. "Let me help you." His hands were gentle as they supported my back, barely touching but providing just enough guidance to keep me afloat. "Relax your neck. Let your head rest in the water. That's it."

I focused on his voice, on the steady pressure of his hands, and gradually felt myself becoming more buoyant.

The water cradled me, cool against my heated skin, while the morning sun warmed my face.

Above me, the sky was a canvas of pinks and golds, clouds catching fire at their edges as dawn fully broke.

"I'm floating," I whispered, afraid that speaking too loudly might break the spell.

"You are," Nicolaus confirmed, his voice close to my ear. "Now close your eyes. Feel the water supporting you. Nothing to do but exist in this moment."

I obeyed, letting my eyes drift shut. The world narrowed to sensation—the gentle lapping of water against my skin, the distant call of morning birds, the faint scent of pine and clean water. Time seemed to suspend as I floated, all my usual worries dissolving into the stillness of the moment.

"This is what it feels like," Nicolaus said softly, his voice a gentle anchor in the peaceful void. "This is what I wanted to share with you."

I opened my eyes to find him watching me, his expression more open than I'd ever seen it. The carefully constructed walls he maintained had lowered, revealing something raw and honest beneath.

"Thank you," I whispered, letting my feet find the bottom again. "I understand now." He nodded, satisfaction evident in the relaxed set of his shoulders.

"What about you?" I asked, moving closer to him through the water. "Show me how you really swim. Not for competition or training, but for yourself."

Nicolaus's eyes lit up with something I'd never seen before—pure joy.

Without warning, he dove beneath the surface, and I watched as he moved through the water with liquid grace.

His body undulated with perfect rhythm, each stroke a masterpiece of controlled power.

He swam in a wide circle around me, sometimes diving deep enough that I lost sight of him in the golden depths, only to surface yards away with barely a ripple.

When he finally returned to me, his breathing was steady despite the exertion. Water droplets clung to his dark lashes, and his smile was unguarded in a way that made my heart skip.

"Your turn," he said, reaching for my hand. "Don't think about technique. Just move."

I let him guide me through the water, his hand warm and steady around mine. At first, my movements were awkward and splashing, nothing like his fluid grace. But gradually, as I stopped trying to remember the rigid lessons of my youth and simply let my body respond to the water, something shifted.

"That's it," Nicolaus murmured, his voice carrying approval that made warmth bloom in my chest. "Feel the water, don't fight it."

I found myself moving with more confidence, my strokes becoming longer and more natural. The water felt different now—not like an obstacle to overcome, but like a medium to explore. When I finally stopped and treaded water beside him, I was breathing hard but exhilarated.

"I did it," I said, unable to keep the wonder from my voice. "I actually swam."

"You did. Good job," Nicolaus said, his eyes heated as he looked at me, something flickered in his gaze, pride mingled with something deeper. He swam closer, his movements fluid and purposeful. The water rippled between us, sunlight dancing across the surface in dappled patterns.

"You're a natural," he said softly, reaching out to brush a strand of wet hair from my face. His touch lingered, fingers trailing along my cheek with deliberate care. "Once you stopped trying to be perfect."

I laughed, treading water as I tilted my face toward the warming sun. "That seems to be the lesson I keep learning with all of you."

"Some lessons bear repeating," Nicolaus murmured, his voice carrying a depth of meaning that made my heart flutter. The morning light caught in his dark eyes, turning them to amber as he watched me. "Especially when they're important ones.”

I nodded, he was right. I let myself relax in the water as we watched the sunrise fully come up, a smile on both of our lips as we relaxed in one another’s presence.