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Chapter Fifty-Two

Lilianna

I had woken up to Christopher kissing my shoulder and murmuring that he had early practice.

His voice was warm with affection, lips soft against my skin, and even half-asleep I’d smiled, tucking myself further into the blankets as he slipped out of the room.

The scent of him lingered on the pillow beside me—citrus and clean linen, familiar and grounding.

I drifted in and out of sleep for another hour or so, letting my thoughts wander between the memories of last night and the deep peace I hadn’t known I was missing.

When I finally rose, the house was filled with golden light pouring in through the windows. I stretched, luxuriating in the quiet stillness. After a long shower and pulling on a soft slate-blue sweater and leggings, I padded barefoot into the hallway.

It was unusually quiet. The comforting kind of quiet—not empty, but peaceful.

No clattering in the kitchen, no music, no low voices from another room.

Just the warmth of the morning sun and the ticking of a nearby clock.

As I walked past the study wing, I caught the faintest sound of paper turning and pen scratching.

Julian’s door was half-open, light spilling out into the hallway.

I paused.

I could have kept walking. Could have gone to the kitchen, made tea, waited for someone else to find me. But something about the gentle pull in my chest said I needed to see him now. So I stepped through the open door.

Julian sat at his desk, the light caught in the dark strands of his tousled hair, glinting against his reading glasses.

His sleeves were rolled to the elbows, collar slightly open, and there was a small ink smudge on his finger where he held the pen.

He looked utterly composed. But when his eyes lifted and found mine, something warmer flickered beneath that carefully constructed calm.

“You’ve been standing there a while,” he said, voice smooth and low.

I blinked, startled. “You always know when I’m watching you.”

Julian leaned back in his chair, setting down his pen. “Only when it’s you.”

“I wasn’t sure if I should interrupt,” I admitted as I stepped further into the room.

“You’re never an interruption,” he said without hesitation.

“Come here.” I crossed the thick rug slowly, drawn to him like a tide to the shore.

He opened one arm in invitation, and I moved around the desk and let myself settle between his legs as he remained seated.

One of his arms wrapped around my waist while the other reached up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear.

His fingers lingered, tracing lightly along my cheek. “Did you sleep well?”

I nodded. “I did. Better than I have in a long time.”

He studied me for a moment, his eyes scanning my face, lingering on my mouth, before his gaze softened. “There’s something different about you this morning.”

“I feel different,” I admitted, brushing my fingers lightly through his hair. “Lighter. Like I finally stopped waiting for permission to belong here.”

Julian’s hand curved gently around the back of my neck, his touch warm. “You never needed permission.”

“I know,” I said. “But it still helps… when someone reminds me.” He pulled me a little closer, and I leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

It wasn’t rushed. It didn’t need to be. His mouth moved against mine with familiar ease, gentle and reverent.

When I pulled away, I lingered, resting my forehead against his.

Before either of us could say anything, a knock on the doorframe pulled our attention. Nicolaus stood just outside, one hand braced casually against the door. His eyes found me first—then Julian. There was a question in his gaze, but no jealousy. Just awareness.

“Am I interrupting?” he asked, voice calm but curious.

Julian didn’t move. “You’re not.” I glanced at him, then back to Nicolaus, and smiled shyly at him, which cause a flicker of amusement to go through Nicolaus’s eyes

Nicolaus stepped inside, quiet and steady as ever. “I was looking for you,” he said, voice directed to me now. “I had hoped to set up my date if you didn’t have plans for tomorrow.” His eyes flickered to Julian then back to me.

My heart fluttered at the formal way he phrased it—so perfectly Nicolaus, careful and considerate even in his eagerness. I straightened in Julian's arms, turning to face him more fully while Julian's hand remained warm at my waist.

"Tomorrow sounds perfect," I said, unable to keep the smile from my voice. "What did you have in mind?"

A hint of satisfaction crossed Nicolaus's features, though he maintained his composed demeanor, “The second part is a surprise…but the first part…I thought you would like to get up early to go for a swim with me.”

"Swimming?" I echoed, surprised but intrigued. I hadn't been swimming since those formal lessons my mother had arranged years ago—clinical affairs in chlorinated pools with instructors who valued form over fun.

"Yes," Nicolaus said, his eyes warming as he observed my reaction. "There's a private cove about an hour from here. The water is perfect this time of year—not too cold, completely clear. We'd have it entirely to ourselves."

I felt a flutter of excitement in my chest. "I'd love that. Though I should warn you, I'm not very good. My swimming lessons were more about posture than actual enjoyment."‘

Julian's thumb traced small circles at my waist, a silent gesture of support, “I think with swimming being his job, helping you will be no problem.” I nodded, knowing that him being a swimming champion would definitely help in this situation.

“I know…I am just informing you so you don't expect too much," I finished with a self-deprecating laugh.

Nicolaus stepped closer, his expression growing tender. "I don't expect anything except the pleasure of your company," he said quietly. "And perhaps the chance to show you that water can be about freedom rather than performance."

The way he said it—with such gentle understanding—made my chest warm. Of course he would understand the weight of expectations that had shaped even something as simple as swimming lessons.

"What time should I be ready?" I asked, already anticipating the feel of sun on my skin and clear water around me.

"Early," Nicolaus replied with a slight smile. "Sunrise is the best time—the water is like glass, and we'll have the morning light to ourselves. I'll wake you at Four-thirty."

"Four-thirty?" I squeaked, then caught myself. "I mean, that sounds lovely."

Julian chuckled, the sound warm against my back as his arms tightened briefly around my waist. "Don't worry, he'll make it worth your while."

Nicolaus's eyes glinted with amusement. "I promise the early hour serves a purpose. The cove is at its most beautiful at dawn." His gaze softened as it swept over me. "Besides, I've arranged for coffee or tea if you prefer, and breakfast to be packed and ready."

"Well, when you put it like that..." I smiled, already imagining what the sunrise would look like reflecting off water. Something about the idea of experiencing a new day with Nicolaus—quiet, thoughtful Nicolaus—felt right in ways I couldn't quite articulate.

"Though I don't have a swimsuit." Thinking of the small details. When we went shopping that isn’t something we had gotten.

“We can get something delivered…or you can always swim naked.” Julian teased, eyes darkening as he looked down at me.

I blinked at him, my cheeks heating up, “You can do that? “ I glanced to Nicolaus as I heard Julian give a sound of surprise. Nicolaus's eyebrows rose slightly, a hint of surprise crossing his composed features at the question.

"If you're comfortable with it," Nicolaus said, ever considerate but surprise colored his tone. "The cove is completely private— no one else is around for miles. But I can arrange for a swimsuit to be delivered if you'd prefer."

I considered it, thinking about how free I'd felt under the stars with Miles, how Christopher had made me feel beautiful and unashamed in my own skin.

"Maybe, I'll decide when we get there." I said, surprising myself with my boldness. "It might depend on how cold the water is."

Julian's breath caught audibly behind me, his fingers tightening slightly at my waist. Nicolaus's expression shifted almost imperceptibly—a flicker of heat in his usually composed gaze that made my heart beat faster.

"As you wish," Nicolaus said, his voice lower than before. "Either way, I'll have towels and a robe ready for you."

I nodded, feeling a pleasant flutter of anticipation in my stomach. "I'm looking forward to it."

"As am I," Nicolaus replied, his eyes lingering on me for a moment before he glanced at Julian. "I should let you get back to work. I just wanted to confirm our plans."

Julian nodded, but made no move to release me from the circle of his arms, but I didn’t move. "Don't stay up too late planning," he said with a knowing smile. "You'll need your rest for such an early start."

Nicolaus's lips curved slightly. "I've already made most of the arrangements.

Though I may do a final check of the weather forecast." He paused at the doorway, turning back to look at me.

"Wear something comfortable for the drive. And perhaps bring a light sweater so if you are cold after the swim.”

"I will," I promised, already mentally cataloging what I might pack.

After he left, Julian and I sat in comfortable silence for a moment. His fingers traced lazy patterns along my arm, and I found myself relaxing completely against him.

"He's been planning this for awhile," Julian said quietly. "I've caught him researching the last few days."

"Really?" I asked, turning slightly in Julian’s lap to look at him. “He’s been planning this?”

Julian gave a small nod, his hand still resting warm and steady on my waist. “Nicolaus doesn’t do anything without intention. I’ve seen him checking the weather all week. Even asked Christopher for a specific kind of thermos that keeps coffee or tea hot for hours.”

A soft laugh escaped me. “That is very sweet of him.”

“It is,” Julian said, voice low, like a secret he was letting me in on.

“But it’s more than just being thorough.

Swimming—it’s not just something he’s just good at.

It’s something important to him. It’s where he feels most in control, most himself.

When he’s in the water, he isn’t thinking about anything else. ”

I leaned into Julian’s chest, letting the words settle around me. “And he wants to share that with me?”

Julian’s arms curled around me a little tighter.

“He does. He wants you to feel what it’s like when everything quiets inside.

For him, swimming does that. And I think…

maybe he hopes it’ll do that for you too.

” That thought gripped me in an overwhelming way, not because I doubted Nicolaus’s intentions—far from it.

But because the act of him sharing something so personal, so grounding, felt like being handed the key to a locked part of his soul.

I exhaled slowly, letting myself feel the weight and the wonder of that.

“And the second part of the date?” I asked, trying to play it casual, even as curiosity sparked alive in my chest. “Any hints?”

Julian pulled back just enough to look at me, his eyes dancing with amusement and something a little more protective. “He has had it planned for days. But you’re not getting it out of me.”

I tilted my head at him, attempting my best sweet expression. “Not even a clue?”

He leaned forward and brushed his nose against mine, his voice a teasing whisper.

“You’ll understand it when you see it. And trust me—it’ll be worth the wait.”

I let out a breathless laugh and rested my head against his shoulder, the scent of his cologne wrapping around me like a comfort I hadn’t known I craved. “You all are too good at this.”

“At what?” he asked, tone light but curious.

“At making me feel like…” I hesitated, words catching somewhere between my throat and my heart. I looked up into his eyes, letting him see the rawness I usually tried to keep buried. “Like I’m the center of something.”

Julian’s expression softened, all teasing gone now.

He touched my cheek with the back of his fingers, his thumb brushing just beneath my eye.

“That’s because you are.” The words hit me deeper than I expected.

I blinked hard, fighting the sting behind my eyes.

Not because I didn’t believe him—but because, for the first time, I did.

I leaned in and pressed a slow kiss to his lips, needing him to feel what I couldn’t quite say aloud.

He met me with the same reverence, his mouth warm and familiar.

It wasn’t urgent. It didn’t need to be. It was a connection—steady and grounding, like him.

When we finally pulled apart, I let my forehead rest against his, breathing him in.

“I’m really looking forward to tomorrow,” I whispered, eyes still closed.

“You should be,” he murmured, his voice brushing against my lips. “Nicolaus has something special in mind.”

I pulled back slightly and gave him a look. “Still not going to tell me, are you?”

“Absolutely not.” Julian’s grin turned roguish. “He’d kill me. And more importantly…I think you deserve to be surprised.”

I laughed, settling back against Julian's chest with a contented sigh. "Fine. I'll be patient."

"That's my girl," he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. His arms tightened around me briefly before he reached for his pen again. "I should finish this report before my conference call."

I started to move out of his lap, but his free hand caught my wrist gently. "Stay," he said quietly. "You're not bothering me."

So I stayed, curled against him while he worked, occasionally stealing glances at the neat lines of his handwriting or the way his brow furrowed in concentration.

The scratch of his pen and the warmth of his body created a cocoon of peace that made my eyelids heavy despite having just woken up.

I was content to just stay in his presence, and from the gentle touches he gave me every so often, he felt the same.